What good is it?

Just a few thoughts on my mind from the ladies and Beth this week...

it is a gift...an unexplainable thirst to study, followed by the difficulty 

                                         of keeping to yourself what you've learned.

                                     

Faith without works, what good is it?

Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

Wisdom is the what, Understanding is the why...
                                            Wisdom often knows what to do, Understanding
                             often knows why.

...being full of ourselves, self, self, self centredness!

Forgiveness is an act of yielding, not to give up, but to give over...

What you do speaks so loud that no one can hear what you say.

            this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Err on the side of mercy.

Be full of mercy   - do not be inundated with the worlds condition...
                                                             you can't fix it...it is not your job.
                                - do not speak empty blessings
                                - notice others, dignify them
                                - the good life has got to show...Jesus came to give an abundant life

...Faith, without works, what good is it?

Such as This

I love the story of  Rahab.  I love how God uses her and her circumstance.  Her circumstance was not good, in fact, in these days, probably in those days too, she was not a person whose circumstance we would want to be connected with.  But God did.  God does not play favorites. Rahab was a prostitute, yet  He saw something in her that was worth more.  And just like He did with Esther, in her circumstance, He used Rahab in hers, for His purpose, for a time such as this.  A Queen and a prostitute, He does not play favorites.

Such as this, a time to stand, a time to be used by God, a time to save and a time to be saved.

Such as this, knowing who you are.

“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought but think of yourself with sober judgement in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you”    Romans 12:3

Rahab knew who she was.

Rahab knew that her circumstance was not good, she did not want to be judged for that, she wanted to be judged for who she was, inside.  Rahab chose to believe God, to believe that she was somebody and she wanted to know this God, to trust Him.  She wanted a way to believe that she could make it, that this God was for her, not against her.  She wanted God to trust her.  She could do it and she could do it for a time such as this.

Such as this, a time to believe that you can do it, to be trusted.

The bible doesn’t tell us much more about Rahab, but we know she went on to be faithful to God, in fact more than that, she is named in the lineage of Christ.

I heard somewhere, that to know yourself is to give a proper estimate of yourself…an estimate of myself, a proper estimate. I am pretty sure I know who I am, I think I have a proper estimate, but more importantly, God knows it, He knows who I am.

My daughter and I went to the funeral of a friend the other day, we learned something new about him, things that we didn’t know, but things that God knows.  God knows the proper estimate of him.  Yesterday I was visiting with a friend, a good friend, she didn’t know this about me, that I speak the words of my heart and soul here, these words.  She’s been finding out new things about me, things that God knows.

Who am I?  I am who God says I am and He delights in me. The truth of what God says about me, is worth remembering and  I want to remember who I am, where I came from, and from how far I have come. I want to believe God, I want to trust Him and even more, I want Him to trust me.  I want to believe I can do it.

What I need to know is, what is this it and what is the time of it…the time such as this?

Glorious days

Earlier in this week, we enjoyed some beautiful spring days, it was like April in February.  One of those mornings, I sat outside in my red lawn chair, sipping coffee, admiring the three eagles that for days now, have been perched in the tree down by the pasture.  I took in Mount Baker heaped with snow, sun tipped, and my own little dog sunning in the grass beside me.  When I went inside, I left my door open and opened the windows too, allowing the sound of my pond bubbling into itself, to drift in through my screens, not to mention that sweet sweet smell of fresh air.

Such a glorious morning.  I am looking forward to spring being here for real, to enjoy more of those kind of days.  When I was a little girl I loved the coming of spring, taking off my shoes and running barefoot, through the grass and down the road.  I could not get my shoes and socks off fast enough…

Earlier in this week, I went to visit with my parents.  As we were taking in the sunshine my Dad said to me “I want to pay the grass guy to come here and dig out my gardens and pull out those tall  and tumbled weeds…”  looking at me, he continued  “unless you want to do it?”  A million no’s ran through my head, my hands stiffened and my shoulders came up, no.  Phone the grass guy.  No, not me.  I looked at him and said   “yes, I can do that.”  He smiled.

Such a glorious smile, if I can say that about my Dad.  But it did seem to make him pretty happy.  I checked the weather to see if the sun was still expected to be out, yes, one more day.  When I was a young wife, I loved working in the gardens, I kept gardening books, mapping out my rows of vegetables and flowers. Veggies that were best for eating straight from the garden without cooking and flowers that were best for growing tall and picking.  Picked for that favorite vase that a friend gave me long ago…

So, earlier this week, I went to my Dad’s to garden, I brought my grandson, Benny, with me, along with his wagon, his big yellow dump truck, his blue shovel, and some snackies.  Before we left my house I had given him some graham wafer crackers that he had spread some icing on, cookies for Pop and Oma, a sweet treat.  It was a morning of work, but such fun…and satisfying.  As I leaned on my rake, in drove my daughter-in- law with her little three, to leave with us as she went off to do ’just a quick errand’.  And I, watched my family.  One, two, three, four grandchildren, two great grandparents, one dog and me, overflowing my parents front yard.  Pop with his hat, dog in hand, Oma with the baby and all the little rest with stones in pockets full, sun shinning, filling us full of spring.

Such a glorious day.  When John and I had the tree farm, spring was a busy time.  We hardly had time for enjoying it.  It was all work, getting cuttings ready for planting, knees in dirt, digging holes, shaking off the pots, placing the plants, hands dirty and row after row laid out for more.  In the dirt, setting out irrigation pipes, stretched long, for the water to reach all the rows of  the young trees, the plantings that were laid out for the next four years of growing and weeding and waiting. We would be satisfied. Yes, today I am remembering those days…

Earlier this week, I enjoyed my my grandchildren and my Dad's glorious smile along with a bit of spring...but spring is not here yet, we just had a taste of it, we’re waiting, it will come and we will be satisfied.

For God’s Word is solid to the core; everything He makes is sound inside and out.

He loves it when everything fits, when His world is in plumb-line true.  

Earth is drenched in God’s affectionate satisfaction.  

Psalm 33: 4-5

I love that.

Eyes wide open

I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I love her style, it is startling, a writing filled with stops and starts of joy.  I love her mad…I love the deep down heart wrenching, brain wreck working of her mad and her writing down of it.  And I love her joy…the simple way of finding it, needing it, the glad running and happy laughing of it.  She brings me in and I get it.  One thing she said to me through her words, and there are many, my book is underlined, book marked and corner turned from marking the places of the words she has said to me.  Anyway, one of the things she said to me was this “Praying with eyes wide open is the only way to pray without ceasing.”  Eyes wide open.  Yes.  I believe it.  I know it, it is true and that is my favourite way of talking to God, right now while the thing is happening, eyes wide open…and under my breath praying.

In Nehemiah 2:4-5 (the Msg)  Nehemiah approaches the King…

“The King then asked me “So what do you want?”

 Praying under my breath to the God of Heaven, I said “if it please the King…”

Under his breath he prays to God.  Eyes wide open, approaching the King, talking to the King yet under his breath praying to God.  Perfect.  I love that.

There are other ways to pray, to talk to God, where any two or more are gathered together, whether it is just you and me or whether it is you and me along with fifty or a hundred more, eyes closed and on our knees.  This sounds good as well.  Give me some of that too, heart felt, soul wrenching cries for help from all the saints asking God to hear our prayers, to turn and hear.

To turn and hear.  When I’m talking to someone, especially if it’s something from my heart, I want them to turn and look at me, to hear what I’m saying, to see me. To see me, deep down, and to understand the words of my heart.  I have recently been blessed by such a conversation, I was seen.

I want to be seen by God.  Hagar was seen by God, she called him El Roi the God who sees.

Ann Voskamp talks a bit about Hagar, being Hagar, looking for water, wanting water. ..for her and her son. Being saved with water by a God who sees.  I love that.  I love that God sees me too. And I love that I can approach my God, eyes wide open…mine and His.

He sees me.

Birthing joy

Ever been in a really hard circumstance?  A circumstance that made you so sad, maybe a little mad?  Maybe a lot mad!  Ever been in a circumstance that made your head spin, your heart ache?  A circumstance that looked like the anguish of it, the suffering of it, would never end?

Life is hard.

When you love someone, life is never easy.  Life is filled with our people, people we love…love is hard.  Life is wrapped up in our people and life becomes filled with all kinds of events and situations, circumstances that affect us but also affect those we love.  What do we do with that?

Every choice we make affects our people, those people we love.  No matter what circumstance we are going through, hard, sweet, sad or mad.  It is pretty easy if it is a sweet event, a sweet circumstance.  Easy to let our choice overflow onto those we love and even everyone around us …a choice of love, of life, a choice of joy. Let’s do it again!  Happy wife, happy life…easy.

Hard.

Hard if it’s a sad circumstance, the decision we make concerning that will affect our people too.  Lots of things have the potential to make us sad, to make us mad, to make our head spin with anguish and our hearts deflate. Perhaps you are raising a child with special needs, or a teenager who is dealing with addiction.  Maybe you have a family member who is not doing their fair share for you.  Possibly you are living with sickness, an illness, a disease.  Maybe your husband has left you, maybe, just maybe he has left this world, leaving a hole in you forever and ever...  Hard things that have the potential to deaden our hearts.  What are we going to do with those things?

I read somewhere that 'misery is selective'  implying that misery is a choice to be selected. Little tick boxes neatly placed beside misery, beside joy.  What are you going to consider, what will you choose?

"Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete..."        James 1:2    

                     
Trials, whenever, of many kinds, look for God’s grace, look for the blessing, if you can‘t see it, look harder…persevere.

To persevere in itself suggests some sort of suffering, it does, it is.  I have been there.  The people I love, the people in my life have been affected by my choices.  Persevere...yes. Because sadness, suffering, and head spinning anguish will turn into joy, test it, try it, do it.  I know it.  Time and time again I have stabbed my stake in the ground and made my choice. sometimes it has been easy.  Sometimes it has been HARD.  I choose not to let that sad, mad, days-filled-with-anguish circumstance deaden my heart…what do you choose?

I choose life and by God's grace, the joy of it... birthing joy.

I love that.

A Whole awful lot

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

Dr Seuss, The Lorax

That day.

It was on that day.  My husband was at home, lying low, recovering from dental surgery, it was just a little thing.  He was poor in spirit, but confident this was for the best, it was. On that day, I left him, to go and help the poor in circumstance.  It was the first year that ‘my people’ were asked to help pass out food hampers to people who were in need, in need of a helping hand.  My people were there, willing to do what we could, to lend a hand.

This day.

I am reminded of that day because, on this day, in both studies I am doing, we are being encouraged to help the poor.  We are encouraged  to serve others, to be part of the ‘circle of love’ to ‘reach out and touch others in our path.’

In our path…

On that day, we were asked to fill the hamper boxes and also to help carry those hampers to the cars of those in need.  As I walked alongside the couple, her with a walker and he with a cane, I carried their packages.  Stealing a look at her, I said “ I know you...”  She looked at me and said that at one time she was a nurse at the Abbotsford Hospital.  Then, I knew her.  She had helped me at one of my hospital stays, one of my birthing days, and I remembered how she had cared for me and comforted me.  She told me what had happened, to her and her husband, that landed them in this spot.  This spot of collecting a food hamper and having me carry it for them.  I said to her “ What a blessing for me. A blessing, that I can repay the kindness you did for me then.”  Full circle.  I love that.  

The circle of love.  The circle of loving and giving and caring for the poor, the poor in spirit, poor in health, poor in circumstance.

Caring for the poor in circumstance, in spirit…but who exactly are the poor?  

Many days have come and gone since that day and the poor are still with us.  The word of God says "the poor will always be with us.”  But still…who exactly are the poor?

Quite possibly it is you and me.

“You say  'I am rich, I have acquired wealth and I don't need a thing. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”  Revelation 3:17

That day and this day, I am reminded that it is not wealth that makes me rich but it is my faith, my people, and caring for those who walk along the path with me.

Let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich...

let the blind say I can see, it's what the Lord has done for me.

Chairein...joy to you

Chairen

This is my new word, pronounced Ki-rain, it is a greek word, a greeting, it means joy to you…

I love that...Chairein.

What follows is a letter of Grace.  These are not my words, they are random quotes and scriptures that I have collected and formed together...words of Grace...that have found their way into my heart and lingered there. Grace, it is an amazing act of God that gives me unending hope and joy and love and peace and gratefulness that overflows my soul…I want to show it more…I want to show more grace.  Grace.  

Chairein,

I've heard it asked "What is grace, this Grace that you desire?" 

Grace is something you can never get but can only be given.  There is no way to earn it or deserve it.  A good night sleep is grace and so are good dreams.  Most tears are grace…Somebody loving you is grace.  

Grace may be unnoticed.  But there are usually some who will notice…They will notice even it’s lightest touch and will hold it a precious and an incalcuble, valuable thing.     

Grace and gratitude belong together like heaven and earth.  Grace evokes gratitude like the voice of an echo.  Gratitude follows grace as thunder follows lightening.

Grace tells us that we are accepted just as we are.  We may not be the kind of people we want to be …we may have more failures than achievements…we may not even be happy, but we are none the less accepted by God, held in His hands.

Not that we deserve it, not that we can earn it, but that we know how precious and valuable a gift it is. That’s what makes grace so amazing.

The beauty of grace - our only permanent deliverance from guilt - is that it meets us where we are and gives us what we don’t deserve.             

God is looking for people who will come in simple dependence on His grace, and rest in simple faith upon His greatness.  At this very moment, He’s looking at you.

Look deep within yourself and recognize what brings life and grace into your heart.  It is this that can be shared with those around you.  You are loved by God.

The secret of life is that all we have and are is a gift of grace to be shared.

Grace abounds and walks around the edges of our everyday experience.

Grace is God drawing us to Himself.

From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another.

We know that God gives us every grace, every abundant grace; and though we are so weak of ourselves, this grace is able to carry us through every obstacle and difficulty.

To be grateful is to recognize the love of God in everything He has given us - and He has given us everything.  Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a gift of grace.

The air which our souls need also envelops all of us at all times and on all sides.  God is round about us in Christ on every hand, with many-sided and all-sufficient grace.  All we need to do is to open our hearts.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect…

I know, more surely than I know anything, that any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God.

The grace is God’s, the faith is mine.

Amazing grace…Chairein .

Wherever you go there you are

I was at my grand daughters birthday party on Friday, it was so sweet, she is turning four, a very special princess.  Yes, a party for royalty, for in our presence were eleven little princesses dressed in their finest tulle and satin, amongst them, one very fine prince (who by the way was in a batman cape, his chest protected by a shield)…too much fun.

My daughter-in-law was bent over the party table, preparing it for the party royalty, when I heard her say “How did I get here?”  I was just about to pardon her words when she straightened up and said again  ‘How did I get here?  It was only yesterday when it was me dressing up for parties, now here I am, making them for my own daughter…how did I get here?”   We all laughed…so true.

How did I get here?

Those words have been on my mind.  My question has been “where is here?”  People can see where I am but I don’t know where that is.  I read once  ‘wherever you go there you are’  but still, where is that?  And how far is it from here?   How do I get there from here?

Have you ever been lost?

I am remembering a time when my daughter, who may have been three, maybe four, got lost.  We were shopping in a big mall store, my little girl was playing hide and seek amongst the clothing racks…whose child hasn’t done that?  Somehow she got turned around and came out where I wasn’t.  I called for her and called and called.  Lost.  My little girl was lost!  Then, from way over there, I saw her little self walking towards me.  A small boy and his Dad, holding hands, were walking just behind her. As they came closer the Dad said to me “We found her, way over there, alone walking.  We just stuck with her until she led us around, back here to where she was supposed to be.”  They knew where she was, but she didn’t know where that was.  She thought she was lost.

That’s how it is for me right now, people know where I am but I don’t know where that is.

Lost.  It seems I am lost.

Ruth said  “Where you go I will go, your people will be my people, and your God will be my God."

My people.   My God.

It seems I am lost,
but, as long as my people and my God know where I am,
for now,
that’s where I am.

“I Am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, 

and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done 
what I have promised you." 

                                                       Genesis 28:15

One Thousand Gifts

One Thousand Gifts, I have just started to read this book.  I found out about it from my daughter, Devon, who heard the author, Anne Voskamp, speak at her bible study and it seemed to me that this book would be beautiful.  It is.  I have only begun to skim the surface of it but I can already see she writes like sumballo, collecting her thoughts like pearls on a string. Treasures pondered.  I love that.

Beautiful thoughts, struggling thoughts…pondering.

With these cold winter days I have had more than a few reading projects to ponder.  One I have just finished is “Memoir of a Geisha”, a friend at work told me to read it, she said it was beautiful. The reviews on the inside flap say the author has written  "..a beautiful but fragile tapestry to linger over..if life is a stream, this is a shimmering pebble that makes the water dance.”  Honestly, at first I was wondering about this beauty, the beauty of his words.  But, sometimes when a book is finished the message of it and the characters come back in a wave, it is then that you are washed in it’s beauty and you are left looking for more.  It was beautiful.  It ends with these words, “But now I know that our world is no more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean.  Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper.” 

Struggles and triumphs…suffering.

Suffering. I have also been reading through the Bible, Eugene Petersons the Message.  I came to the Book of Job, I wasn’t going to read it, I know that book, the story it tells.  But, I did.  It was a gift.  A beautiful gift of suffering, lamenting and overcoming.  In the midst of Job’s suffering, his friends come along side and for seven days they sit quietly beside him, feeling his pain.  But then comes the exchange of accusations and  defence.  I love the words in another book I read once  “ God, God, God, look down.”   These were the words on the mind of Job too and he says  “..even though innocent, anything I say incriminates me, blameless as I am, my defence makes me sound worse..”  God, God, God, look down.  But God, He comes back with this “ Do you presume to tell me what I’m doing wrong?  Are you calling me a sinner, so you can be a saint…I’ll gladly step aside and hand things over to you..”   But God.  God does look down and Job is convinced  "You can do anything and everything."

Suffering, lamenting…overcoming.

Now finally I come to James, the start of James, The Book of James.  This is the topic of our new bible study, I already know it will be a gift too.  James, very probably the brother of Christ, surely he is.  James overcomes the doubt he has in believing that Jesus is the Christ.  He is. What a beautiful introduction Beth has given us, introducing us to a man who is a statesman, who offers a bridge joining Jews and gentiles, offering a blessing of peace, offering shalom.

Believing, bridging...offering peace.

Ahh, peace, just when I thought winter was going to pass us by, I’ll be here peacefully reading my moments away, for now it will be reading with Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

And I know what’s coming, they are all around me…one thousand gifts.  More.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of heavenly lights”  

James 1:16

Turn the Page

I have taken down my old calendar.  It’s not time to put up the new one just yet.

I love new calendars, they are beautiful, there is something special about them.  The paper they are printed on, the weight of them, the spiral, the fold…the font of the lettering and of the numbers…the boxes that contain these numbers, these units of time.  The cover and it‘s pages of pictures, tells the story of it, they set the mood, they leave hints of what is to come, what we can look forward to.  Seasons, the reminders of a past life, ideas of what can be, glimpses of the world, photos of sweet grandchildren…all of these offering hope for a new day...a new day of hope.

I love that, a new day, new hope.

I have just finished transposing all the important dates from my old calendar on to my new one; birthdates, anniversaries, special events, events that need to be remembered in the new year on that date.  It’s kind of a ritual for me, it‘s so personal. Taking down the old calendar is to remember, to remember moments in time, moments that have come and gone.  Moments that have passed by in just the blink of an eye…gone…but remembered.

As I went through my old calendar I became aware of these units of time, time passed; little squares of  days filled with life happening.  Units of time, glimpses of moments in a day, memories stacked in squares on a page.  Sometimes the squares are stacked with the same event or repercussions of it…when will this ever stop.  Some of the squares are filled with moments of joy, yes, let’s do it again!

Units of time; a day, a week, a month.  Turn the page.

Units of time; moments of sadness, hurt and moments of joy.  Turn the page.

Some moments last a day, some a day here and a day there.  Some moments are more than that, they fill up a week of squares maybe two.  More.  Turn the page.

Turning the pages, one thing I know for sure, another year has passed by and a new one has begun. This New Year is filled with days too…squares and pages of days and I am looking forward to the hope they are sure to be filled with.  2012, I am turning the page, so, out with the old and in with the new...new hope.

Ahh, my new calendar, it goes right here...I love that.

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

That sings the tune without the words

And never stops at all.

                                                                                            Emily Dickinson

A Sweet Sweet Sound

“Take joy my Lord, in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.”

Last Sunday morning we heard some thoughts from a few people in our midst, thoughts that spoke to our hearts, stories of encouragement, confirmation and confession.

We heard confession from a young man, though he didn’t confess all to us, we certainly got the impression of it.  He had already confessed to God, confessed to his wife and to his group of friends.  Confessed to men, who no doubt knew the struggles that can take place in the hearts and minds of those who have known their own suffering, felt the consequences and shared confession.  This young father had confessed to God, to those he loved and to those in his midst.  It was a powerful message to those of us listening and watching his heart be released from the chains that held it.  A fellow prisoner, freed.  I love that!

Amazing grace how sweet the sound.

Not that long ago we did a bible study called “To Live is Christ” We talked about two prisoners, Peter and Paul.  When Paul was miraculously freed from his chains, he cried out to the others who were there, to those who were held captive with him and to those who held him captive. He told them not to be afraid and he went on to tell them how they could know the same salvation he had, the same hope, the same grace…and they listened.

When Peter was freed in the same miraculous way, he did not hang around to share any messages, either to confess or to minister.  He was simply freed from his bondage.  Peter was freed to go.

One was freed to stay and share, the other was simply freed to go.

Amazing grace.

Sometimes it is the same for us.   Sometimes we are meant to share and sometimes we are told “to go and tell no one” or “to go and sin no more”  Sometimes confessing to Him is enough.  Sometimes He says that is enough…go and sin no more…it is finished.

God knows how many times He has freed me, sometimes freed to share, to confess and sometimes, He has freed me to simply go and sin no more.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound to save a wretch like me...I love that.

Mercy Triumphs

"Bible scholars compare James to the prophet Amos. In other ways James more closely resembles the Book of Proverbs than any New Testament book. Come along with Beth Moore on a journey to get to know both the man and the Book of James. You will never be the same again.

Topics in this study include: joy, hardship, faith, reversal of fortunes for rich and poor, wisdom, gifts from above, single-mindedness, the dangers of the tongue, humility, and prayer. Plus, Beth introduces a 5-tiered study approach that she has never done before."

Join us at Arnold Community Church on Tuesday mornings at 9:30am or in the evening at 7:30.  There will be 8 weeks of video, homework, study and discussion... starting on  January 10th.

I am really looking forward to see what Beth has in store for us this time...pick a time and be part of this journey.  

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows it's true color."                       James 1:2 (the Msg)  

See you there for the challenge!  


PS...You can also join us 'Prime Time'ers  for coffee,  we will be meeting at the Wired Monk Coffee shop near Whatcom Road on Thursday,  January 12th  at 1:00        

Echoing Angels

I love Christmas!  I love the time with my friends and my family.  I love the decorating and the lights.  I love finding the best gift and the giving of it.  I love the singing and listening to the music.

I love it when I find a new Christmas song, one I haven’t heard before or one that has a message that I haven’t taken in before.  I have a hard time giving up my Christmas songs once Christmas day is over, I don’t really want to listen to my ‘other’ time music, I love my Christmas time music. Kenny and Dolly, the Carpenters, Elvis and Mr Buble…there is more of course, I love Christmas music!

I found a new song this Christmas by a singer whom I have appreciated for ‘other’ time music.  Rob Thomas wrote this song for a time when his world had been facing a battle, war really.  It was written for New York and it is called “A New York City Christmas”  Well, we all know the story of what happened in New York, not that long ago.  I found the message of this song entirely fitting for any city, any town, any streets where people walk.  Sometimes our streets are heavy with a sadness, we feel beaten and broken.  We all have stories filling our hearts and minds, stories of the things that have happened to us. Stories that affect ourselves but that also affect the people around us, who in turn take it to the streets of their towns, into their shops and businesses.  Some of the stories are sad, some of them are traumatic and are filled with pain and death.  I have learned that everyone has a story, that even though my heart  is heavy with my story , the person walking just behind me or just in front of me has a heaviness too.  The person who gets into the elevator with me, the one who walks the halls of the hospital going in the other direction from me, the one who is stopped at the red light alongside me, the one who is having coffee at the table across from me.

Sometimes we are beaten and broken just like some of the streets and sidewalks in our city.

In our beaten and broken state, we have this amazing line we can call on, His line is always open, and His angels are always close by.  An angel came to Mary and to Joseph.  An angel came to Elizabeth, to Peter and to Jacob, to Hagar…there are too many to mention, but be assured they come, sent by Him to us.  They come to offer courage, comfort, peace, strength and they come to confirm our faith in Him.

“So call on your angels,  
you’re beaten and broken, 
it’s time that we mended…
Let our mercy be the gifts we lay…
Celebrate each and every day
Yeah, I’m sending you  a merry New York Christmas 
and a prayer for peace on earth within our time.  
Hear the sidewalk angels echo Hallelujah.  
We understand them, now more than ever.  
Call on your angels, come down to the city, let’s crowd around the big tree, 
all you strangers who know me, 
bring your compassion, 
bring your forgiveness, 
Lord, how we need it 
on this New York City Christmas”

These are some of the words, put in the name of your town, your street and listen...

Do you hear the angels echo Hallelujah?

Mary did you know?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?

This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little Baby you've kissed the face of God?

The blind will see.

The deaf will hear.

The dead will live again.

The lame will leap.

The dumb will speak

the praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great I Am.

So Beautiful!  Written by Mark Lowry along with Buddy Greene.  One of my favorite versions is sung by Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd.  Give yourself another Christmas present and listen to the power of the music and hear the words...

Merry Christmas...God bless us, everyone.

The Dancing Man

“The mountains and hills will burst into song before you and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”

Isaiah 55:12

“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.”

One of the books I read to my girls when they were little was called 'The Dancing Man'  I loved that book, maybe more than they did. It is a story of a little boy who wants some joy in his life. He can see that the world around him is dancing, the trees sway and the clouds dance in the sky, but he didn't know that joy for himself, he wanted it, he waited for it. One day, an old man dances up to him and offers him a gift...

“I am the dancing man,” he said, “and I have a gift for you.”

The little boy takes the gift and soon he is dancing like the old man.  He shares his gift with others and soon they know his joy too.

This story is actually a parable, originating from South Africa.  It tells the story that life is a gift from God.

A gift from God, peace, joy and ...dancing.

Last night I went to my granddaughters dance recital, Hadley, who is three, soon to be turning four, so sweet.  The recital was absolutely beautiful, all the dancers, all the joy.  Of course, her performance was the sweetest, well, all the dancers were sweet and beautiful. This recital was an early Christmas gift, a gift of dancing, a gift of joy. 

Hadley loves to sing and dance and just twirl, she’s teaching it to her sister, Presley.  Such a joy to watch them dancing, sharing their little gifts with each other, with us...joy, laughter, dancing.  Both of them are a gift, gifts from God.  My other granddaughters, Riley and Gracie dance too, they also had their recital, but it was very far away, I know they are just as sweet, I've seen them practicing, twirling, just beautiful, more gifts from God.

God has a gift for all of us, it is wound up in Christmas, it is His Son, the reason we celebrate at this season.   His Son has a gift for us, it is His life, for us. 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"

John 3:16

What an amazing gift, isn't it cause to burst into song and to clap our hands, to go out in joy ...dancing.

"I Am the Dancing Man," he said, "and I have a gift for you."

Pearls on a String

"Suddenly a great company of of the Heavenly Host appeared with the angel praising God and saying 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests.' "

Unspeakable joy!

"When the angels had left them and gone into Heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.' "

This morning in church as another candle was lit, we celebrated the third advent, the advent of joy, unspeakable joy!

These last two years have been a time of heaviness for me, but in it all I have known joy. I know it's hard to believe but I have seen the grace of God, the glory of it, the joy of it...unspeakable joy. Even in Johns death, because of it, because of his stand and his courage, I have learned more, felt more, known more of God and as you may have noticed, I can not stop talking about it.

Years ago, in a bible study, we learned the word 'sumballo.' It is the practice of casting many things together, combining them as one, as if to string pearls on a string, treasures.

Treasures, gained and confirmed over these past 2 years, combined as one, my pearls, cast on a string...

God's Grace ~ love ~ faith and love that spring from hope ~ where my heart is ~ stored up for me in heaven ~ He is my treasure ~ spiritual wisdom and understanding ~ a life worthy ~ stacking memories like stones in the river ~ pleasing Him ~ growing in the knowledge of Him ~ being strengthened to have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks ~ courage ~ strength ~ sharing in the inheritance ~ rooted and built up ~ overflowing with thankfulness ~ setting my mind on things above ~ being renewed in knowledge ~ clothing myself with compassion ~ kindness ~ humility ~ gentleness and patience ~ bearing with one another ~ showing grace ~ all in the name of Christ ~ being watchful ~ devoted to prayer ~ proclaiming the mystery of Christ ~ clearly ~ being wise ~ making the most of every opportunity ~ full of grace ~ seasoned with salt ~ His faithfulness ~ my faith ~ He has His trust in me ~ He is for me, who can be against me ~ He wants to do me a favor ~ His favor rests ~ rest in Him ~ joy ~ Joy ~ unspeakable joy.

From my treasure to ours, the reason for Christmas, Christ, our King...

"When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child. And all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them."

Unspeakable joy!

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

...like pearls on a string.

Like a Winter Snow

I have a special friend, though we are apart in age, some have said to me that we are cut from the same cloth, her and I. It could be we are, does God cut from cloth? Threads maybe, He weaves them together. The bible talks of threads often, in many ways, connecting to one another, braided together, knit together, woven, tied…God’s tapestries.

Well, my friend and I have many threads in common, her birthday is one day off from mine, her husband's birthday is one day off from my husband's. Her daughter was born in the same month as my daughter. My daughter, Dana, it was her birthday yesterday, so beautiful.

My daughter has been touched by my friend, it seems they are soul mates and I have been touched by her daughter, I was close by, the year she was born, she has always been sweet, like my daughter...they may be cut from the same cloth.

Connecting threads. Threads of the same colour, different tapestries, hers and mine. Both beautifully threaded with accomplishments and with disappointments. Both woven with joy and with loss. Both interwoven with faith, hope and love.

On Sunday morning my friend's daughter sang a song in church that touched me. It was beautiful. She sang it quiet, soft and slow.

This song, I’ve heard it before, I have the words written down, I know them. A song written by Audrey Assad, called ‘Winter Snow'. A beautiful song that sings the story of Christ coming to earth, to us. He could have come like a mighty storm, a hurricane but He didn’t, He came in like a winter snow. Quiet and soft and slow.

It reminds me of my husband, John. He was a man’s man, tough and strong. Sometimes his temper got the better of him, he wasn’t one to sit by quietly when something wasn’t going his way. Sometimes though, he was. Once, when his employee wasn’t responding very well at a job site, I asked him, why aren’t you saying something? He answered me, “ Bud, sometimes, you just have to eat it.” Just sit by. That comment surprised me. I took it in and I try to remember that message…just sit by.

This last ‘something’ that he went through,was definitely not going his way and his choice was to sit by quietly. He could have gone out like a hurricane, all mad but he didn’t. He left us in November, in a whisper, all quiet, like a winter snow.

“When you get close enough and quiet enough, He will whisper a secret to your heart and it will change your life. In that moment all your fears will be gone.”

Stormie Omartian

The Herdmans

I went to a play last night put on by Act Theater, many of the children from Arnold Church were involved in it. It was the first Christmas event I attended this year, well aside from the 1st Advent last sunday. The MC told us that the children had all done such a good job of learning their parts, in fact, they were so good we would all be fully taken in by it.

We were.

It was the best Christmas pageant ever! The play was based on a book by Barbara Robinson written in 1972, at that time the reviews said this book was bound to be a classic...it is.

The play was called "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and as I said, it was, it was funny and so true. It tells the story of a family of kids, the Herdmans and how they were about to ruin the Church play, to make it the worst Christmas play ever! The Narrator, one of the main characters, said "The Herdmans were absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world!"

The Herdmans, they were the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, dirty ruffians, who ended up learning about Jesus. They didn't ruin the church play, somehow they made the Christmas play better.

The Herdmans...kind of reminds me of the shepherds.

The shepherds, the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, that's what the people in those days thought. Dirty ruffians, who went looking for Jesus. They too make the Christmas story better.

John the Baptist was a ruffian, at least he was described as one, he dressed in clothes made of camel hair, he wandered in the desert, he ate locusts and wild honey, yet he prepared the way for Jesus, he said there is one coming after me who is better.

The Herdmans, the shepherds and John the Baptist, ruffians who learned about Jesus, who went looking for Him and who prepared the way for Him.

This sunday is the 2nd Advent a reminder for us to learn more about Jesus, to look for Him... to prepare for Him...

"And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

Celebrating

Finally!

Yes, I have finally finished reading Bonhoeffer! My daughter said I should celebrate, she said I should find a good German restaurant and go out for dinner...maybe I will. We have been doing a lot of celebrating this past month, birthdays...13 altogether in my family, 4 of them were my grandchildren. Such fun, great celebrations!

Celebrating is good, we are about to celebrate the birth of Christ and we are just now coming to the first advent, a Sunday of expectation and hope. The book I just finished reading was a powerful story about an amazing man in horrible times, in these times, there was not much time for celebrating yet through it all Dietrich Bonhoeffer (as well as many men and women around him) never gave up hope in his faith or in his God. The last chapter of this book is taken with this scripture, 2 Chronicles 20:12,

"We know not what to do, but our eyes are upon You."

Those were suffering times but it has not been the only time of people struggling in fear, people feeling without hope, yet looking for it, expecting it.

Nehemiah had hope in God, he wanted to do something, he prays under his breath and approaches the king. Hoping.

Esther knows not what to do but she asks for prayer and fasting and then enters the presence of the king. Hoping. Trusting.

Jehosophat knows not what to do but he calls on his God "...our eyes are upon You." Hoping. Trusting. Expecting God.

These too, are the sentiments we cry out often enough, we know not what to do, but here is our hope, found just a few verses down in verse 15,

"... for the battle is not yours, but Gods."

What a great and awesome hope we have, God belongs to us and the battle belongs to Him. Hoping for the peace only He can give and expecting Him to be with us through all of our struggles. Hope and expectation, this sunday, the first advent of the Christmas season...may we keep our eyes on Him.

"While in God confiding I cannot but rejoice."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

the deepest secret

I came across this poem in a book I read once, it's a poem about love and the deepness of it, how we are never left without it, a promise for a new hope and a new life, words from the heart. I shared it at our Ladies Tea in April...here it is again, along with some other words that I shared that night...

i carry your heart with me by e e cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) I am never without it (anywhere

i go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want

no world (for beatuiful, you are my world...my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart).

This is how it is when you lose someone, no matter how it happens, whether by distance or by death, but even with this loss...comes the hope of love...I have felt this loss and the hope that comes with this kind of love.

Near the end of 1973 I became a wife and started a new life with my husband. We never were much for sweet talk or using sweet heart names. It was always Bud, I was his and he was mine. In the last few years we started using 'Honey'...but mostly for a loving reprimand or as a tease.

We were a team, for 36 years in marriage, loving life and sometimes fighting life. Often when we were working together at some job that he had in mind to get done, my eyes would say to him "Really?" and he'd look back at me, his eyes saying "Yes, just do it." We got a lot of things done that way.

Two years ago, my Buddy lost his fight on this earth, God had another job in mind for him...a new life with Him.

On that last night, my Buddy was hooked up with Iv's, oxygen hoses and draining tubes. He was connected to monitors that read his heart rate, his blood pressure and measured his oxygen levels. He lay in a bed fitted with special mattresses, attached to equipment that seemed overpowering, overwhelming. He wanted me to move his bed back so that maybe it would give length to one of his hoses. I tried not to let him see, but he saw my eyes say "really?" and then, I saw his eyes say "yes, just do it."

I did it, it was the last job we did together...it was an honor and a blessing to have shared his last days and to have witnessed the dignity and grace he fought his battle with. It is a new life for him, he is walking with Christ. And despite the loss it is a new life for me...

Now I am working at little jobs with my grandchildren, 10 little buddies who look back at me with the eyes of their Papa. And life goes on.

I slept beside him that night, this night, 2 years ago, the first time in a month, the last time forever...

i carry his heart with me... i carry it in my heart.

Whispers of love

Christmas is just around the corner and today I ordered a present for each of my little families, each one the same, a book, the same book. I can hardly wait to see them and have my fingers turn through their pages. I love new books and I love to give them as gifts. John and I made it a tradition to give books at Christmas. Sometimes there was a different book for each one, a book with a special message just for them or sometimes it was a book to share. Always, there was a little something extra inside the pages.

I was always the one to do the shopping but the one year I was able to talk John into coming with me...that was a surprise! I wanted to pick out big shiny exciting books but Papa wanted simple ones...a small book. "This one " he said. It was a small book, on the cover was a red barn with farm animals gathered around it. It was called "The Big Red Barn" by Margaret Wise Brown. A small book with a big message, as it happened, this was the last Christmas that Papa was with us. This special book remains as a reminder to my little families that Papa loved them in a special simple way. Everytime we look through it's pages we find Papa and a whisper of his love for us.

This new book that I just ordered is also a whisper of love. It is called "The Jesus Story Book Bible". It looks amazing. On the cover just under the title are the most beautiful words in the loveliest font... "every story whispers His name" I love that. Beautifully simple.

Simple. Sometimes we forget the simplicity of the book we base our faith on, we get caught up in the bigness of it, we want it to be big. We look for the excitement of it, we want to feel it. We want the big shiny miracles, we want to be part of it! We forget that the Bible"...isn't mainly about you and what you should be doing. It's about God and what He has done. Amen."

The Bible is a beautifully simple book, it tells the story of Christ in the new testament and in the old testament and ...every story whispers His name.

This changes everything.

Yes, I'm still reading Bonhoeffer, soon and very soon I will be done...maybe. I'm trying to take everything in, I am always finding something. Today the words I found were connected to both bible studies I am doing, they speak to making adjustments and giving up all. Here are Bonhoeffer's words,

"Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God - the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God."

What amazing words, to make your whole life an answer to the question and call of God...

The book by Blackaby this past week has been talking about adjustments, making adjustments to our life, he says "you cannot stay where you are and go with God at the same time" He talks about Elisha, Noah, Abram, Moses, David, Amos, Jonah, Peter, James, John and Matthew and Saul. They all had to leave something, they had to give up all they knew to continue with God. Responsible men who made major adjustments to the call of God.

The other book I am studying talks about Paul in Prison, Paul says, "for me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." In prison or out of prison, from the time he had to make his major adjustment, he makes it plain that his whole life is an answer to the question and call of God.

Right now I am still waiting, waiting to see what God is calling me to do, what He is preparing me for, but, as soon as I hear the call I'm looking forward to making the adjustments.

I have just come out of a major adjustment. I gave up my husband, I gave him to God. He made a major adjustment too. He gave up everything he knew to go with God... I was there the day he said "This changes everything." His final stand was not his reason, but obedience, through God's grace he made the adjustment...and went with God. I love that, I love knowing that.

I love knowing this, even Jesus had to make adjustments. Jesus gave up all riches and His position in Heaven to come to this earth, to be poor and to suffer...

"He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

2 Corinthians 8:9

I am rich, I know to whom I belong...God...and this changes everything.

Ruin is a gift

Last night I watched the movie Eat,Pray,Love. Julia Roberts plays the main character, a woman who is in trouble with her marriage. At her lowest point she introduces herself to God and prays "God, nice to finally meet you" then through her tears she cries out "I am in deep trouble, tell me what to do." Her marriage is over, her life is in ruins. It is a story of how she is able to find a way to rebuild her life...to restore the ruins.

Restoring the ruins...it is a process.

Last year we did a Beth Moore study called Breaking Free. It is a study on how we put ourselves in bondage, either by our ways of thinking, our expectations or our beliefs. We suffer with the lies we believe, the prejudice shown to us, or by the faults and hurts of family ties. Family ties, whether they lie in a bad marriage or in hurts done to us by other family members. Some of the hurts are in being lost, loss and even death. All hurts can be ruinous. Some of the hurts are recent, but some of the hurts have happened long ago, they are ancient, old ruins. What we learned in this study is that we need to think of these ruins in new ways, to have the "courage to extract the precious from the worthless"...to transform the ruins.

Transforming the ruins...I'm in the process.

In the movie, Julia's character visits the old ruins in Rome and she realizes how amazing it is that no matter what disasters had befallen the ancient buildings they keep on being transformed to a new beauty. While I'm not sure I can accept everything this movie tells, there is this that stood out to me..."Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

Ruin is a gift, a mercy of God, one of His reminders. If it were not for the ruin, we would not see the need to transform and if we could change the way we look at the ruin, we could regain our beauty...then we could love ourselves and in turn we could learn to love again, despite the ruins...because of the ruins.

"...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair...

They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generations.

Isaiah 61:3-4

From the ruins...have the courage to extract the precious from the worthless.

Joyful circumstances

I got caught this week doing a few things that I shouldn't have done, and I had to pay the price.

First, I got caught speeding. The officer came around to my car and asked for my registration and drivers liscence, then came back and gave me the ticket...57 in a 30... $253.00! When she walked away I said "thank-you" ...grrr.

Earlier, that morning I had been to the dentist with an abscess. When my dentist had worked on that tooth a long time ago he told me that I needed to be careful around that area. I guess I didn't floss properly and now he is saying that I need a root canal!

Later that evening, I ran the water for a bath. I put my Iphone and my book (my bible study book) on the ledge of the bathtub. My dog came by and tipped everything into the water! Yikes! A wet Iphone! What could possibly be worse! Well, besides a speeding ticket and a root canal?!

As I reflected, my whole day of trouble reminded me of the bible study lesson we are doing. Paul is in chains, shackled to a guard, imprisoned...yet he is praising God. He was being joyful in his circumstances, his horrible circumstances and he hadn't even done anything wrong!

I was not in chains but I certainly did some wrong things. I could have put myself in bondage with a suffering, 'poor me' attitude. But I didn't, I couldn't. Worse things could have happened! Hard lessons learned...God saved me, despite my errors in judgement and I'm thankful for that.

This weeks bible study lesson says, "to experience the power of peace in every situation, begin with thanksgiving. Did you know that the giving of thanks is willful? It is a decision on our part. And giving thanks is also commanded by God. His word tells us to give thanks always and for all things in everything and evermore. And the decision to do just that - to give thanks, no matter what- has a powerful effect on our attitude...and our peace."

It's not that He wanted me to suffer, but he wants me to learn something...I'm thankful I didn't hurt anyone speeding through a playground, I'm thankful for my dentist, I'm thankful that my Iphone is made well enough that it is still working. I'm thankful for my dog, I love him. And I am thankful for my God who is in the business of saving. I Love Him.

" Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The Princess and the happy ending

When I was in Ontario, visiting my grandchildren there, I had many opportunities to read stories. My oldest granddaughter, who is soon turning 7, loves to read, so I had many stories read to me as well.

What a pleasure listening to the stories unfold, told in the voice of my own little princess. Many of them were about girls who were looking for a princess or wanting to be one or found out they were one.

Such adventures, but as we read, we discovered something...every girl can be a princess. Inside every girl there is a princess.

From the stories we read, we found out that there are three things that can determine if you are a true princess, kindness to others, generosity to the poor and beauty...on the inside. How wonderful to know that by showing kindness, being generous and letting our beauty shine we can be a princess in our own right. There is no one who can take away this truth. But, like it happens in some stories, you may think that there are those who can make you feel unworthy or inferior...some 'mean step-mother'' or a 'wicked queen' or an 'evil king'.

Now, another lesson we learned from our stories was that 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. " a quote from 'Barbie Princess Charm School'. I love that, a lesson from Barbie...no one can make you feel less than you are. What a concept, no one can make me feel less than I am!

The Bible says we are royalty with the King...I am remembering a study we did on Tamar. Tamar was treated badly by Amnon, very badly...raped and then tossed aside, forgotten. Apparently, she lived the rest of her life feeling unworthy and believed the lie that Amnon left her with. The truth is no action by Amnon could change her bloodline, she was the daughter of a king. As are we, we are joint heirs with Christ, we are royalty. If we are not royalty, He is not King.

"The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord. All glorious is the princess within her chamber; her gown is interwoven with gold. In embroidered garments she is led to the King; her companions follow her. They are led in with joy and gladness; they enter the palace of the King." Psalm 45 : 11-15

The truth is I am His princess and He is enthralled by my beauty! No one can take that from me...or from you...our story does have a happy ending.

Now I know his name

"Christ has no body now but yours, no hands, no feet on earth but yours,

yours are the eyes with which He looks compassion on this world,

yours are the feet He walks to do good, yours are the hands with which

He blesses all the world."

Saint Teresa of Avila

Our church was highly motivated about a month ago to help a family in Arnold. It was very amazing to watch the people here step forward to be willing workers to a family in need. It's not that this family needed money or food, they just needed a hand. A helping hand to show support, love, care, compassion and to help them stand...to just stand.

They were overcome with the care of their son, only 18, who was suffering with cancer, a rare kind.

The folks here were the eyes of Christ and saw the need. They became the hands and feet of Jesus, many of them on their knees. They gathered together to work in the family's blueberry fields to pull weeds and clean the fields. They were a blessing to that family and to those who watched and heard the story...blessings in this small part of our world, the hands and feet of Jesus.

At the time I didn't know the boy but I felt for him and his family, I knew how their hearts felt...I know how their hearts feel still.

Later, when I saw his picture, I was surprised to see that I had spoken with him. He was a young man that I'd had a conversation with at the cancer agency, one morning on my shift there. He had a calmness about him, even though he was talking about scary treatments. He had made an impression on me, I thought he was very brave and very wise. I remember watching the back of him as he made his way down the hall and out the door...now I know his name.

His name was Kody, he lost his battle with cancer October 8, 2011

Here I Am

"Here I Am, I stand at the door and knock if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me." Revelation 3 :20

I was interested by a new thought when I read this verse, well an old thought really, I've studied this verse before. I'm sure we all have at sometime, it is a popular verse. But I think that the point of it is often lost or forgotten, maybe just taken for granted. Somehow, we generally think that we are the one that is 'doing' , you know, going to the door listening and then there is God, calling out 'Here I Am'. In fact, it is God who comes to the door first. He is the one who is 'doing'. It is not by what we do that He comes to the door. He comes to the door and then we do something.

This week in our study, we were asked the question "Who loved first, we or God?" Then, Blackaby goes on to add "God always takes the initiative to establish a love relationship with me."

God's initiative... not mine.

John 15:16 says "You did not choose me but I chose you" and Phillipians 2:13 says "It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose" and Deuteronomy 30:6 "The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love Him with all your heart and with all your soul and live."

He loved first. What a relief really, that it is not by what I do that God comes, how amazing that He has chosen me, that He has loved me so much that He sent His own son to the cross. Yes, it is God who is the one 'doing'.

It is He who lets us know that He is there..."Here I Am".

Dietrich Bonhoeffer...yes I'm still reading that book...calls it 'being grasped by God'. He expresses the idea " (about philosophy) ...in which man himself tried to reach heaven or truth or God but theology begins and ends with faith in Christ who reveals himself to man, apart from such revelation there could be no such thing as truth. Thus the philosopher as well as the theologian who operates on the philosophers assumptions - chases his own tail and gazes at his own navel. He cannot break out of that cycle but God can break in."

Have you been grasped by God or are you chasing your own tail? Stop 'doing' for "Here I Am"...He is knocking at the door.

Come to the table

I've been in Ontario for the last week or so, the weather has been amazingly beautiful!

I've heard it said that Canada is God's Country, after seeing this part of the country, I really do believe it's true!

While I've been here, I've been to Niagra Falls, seen the CN Tower in Toronto and driven into the fields of Perth County. All of it, under beautiful, clear blue skies! All of it spectacular and amazing!

In Perth County, close to where Devon lives, we went to a particular field that had been prepared for a specific purpose, to provide for the hungry. Over 120 combines gathered to harvest over 160 acres of soy beans and they did it in 11 minutes and 43 seconds! They were aiming for a world record. They were wanting to feed the hungry. It was absolutely amazing to watch...a powerful message!

The event was in partnership with Canadian Food Grains Bank, an agency with over 20,000 Canadian churches connected to it, but organized by this community of farmers and their local churches, they called it " 'Harvest for Hunger' ...come to the table"

Harvesting for the hungry. Men and women coming together to harvest and share their abundance with others in the world...God's world...powerful machines, an abundant crop and willing workers. It was amazing to witness and to join in where God was working!

" Celebrate the feast of Harvest with the first fruits of the crops you sow in your field, celebrate the feast of ingathering at the end of the year when you gather in your crops from the field."

Exodus 26:16

How appropriate, as the following weekend we celebrated Thanks-Giving, where we all came to the table and shared a meal with the people we love, giving thanks to a God who loves us...abundantly!

Together we can accomplish what no one person can do alone...come to the table.

Leave and go...

These are the words that God spoke to Abram "Leave your country, your people and your fathers household and go to the land I will show you."

Specific and simple. Vague but sure. Frightening and yet, somehow safe.

Frightening in the way that God is asking Abram to leave everything that he knows, everything that he holds dear, everything that he has hold to, his home, his people, his future...very frightening.

Yet, safe. Safe in the way that God is confirming that He will be there showing Abram the way '...I will show you.'

So, Abram left.

Would I have left?' Would I think God would be asking me to leave? I am not so sure. My view point has been and maybe still is, wait and see. If God really wants me to do something, maybe I'll just wait and see, surely he will find some way to convince me if He really wants me to obey. He will ask me again.

I weigh everything, maybe too much. Maybe I need to listen and just do it... to look around me and listen to what God is asking me to do. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do listen and just do it...sometimes too often...without weighing.

I wish It would be simple. I wish I would always do the right thing, the thing that God was asking of me. I also wish that what He was asking of me was simple, like leave and go. Simple. I wish that what He would be asking me would be safe.

Well one thing I do know is that wishing is of no use when it comes to obeying God, and having it simply laid out is not going to happen, it is simply going to be step by step, day by day...

Leave and go ...He will show me.