Eyes wide open

I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I love her style, it is startling, a writing filled with stops and starts of joy.  I love her mad…I love the deep down heart wrenching, brain wreck working of her mad and her writing down of it.  And I love her joy…the simple way of finding it, needing it, the glad running and happy laughing of it.  She brings me in and I get it.  One thing she said to me through her words, and there are many, my book is underlined, book marked and corner turned from marking the places of the words she has said to me.  Anyway, one of the things she said to me was this “Praying with eyes wide open is the only way to pray without ceasing.”  Eyes wide open.  Yes.  I believe it.  I know it, it is true and that is my favourite way of talking to God, right now while the thing is happening, eyes wide open…and under my breath praying.

In Nehemiah 2:4-5 (the Msg)  Nehemiah approaches the King…

“The King then asked me “So what do you want?”

 Praying under my breath to the God of Heaven, I said “if it please the King…”

Under his breath he prays to God.  Eyes wide open, approaching the King, talking to the King yet under his breath praying to God.  Perfect.  I love that.

There are other ways to pray, to talk to God, where any two or more are gathered together, whether it is just you and me or whether it is you and me along with fifty or a hundred more, eyes closed and on our knees.  This sounds good as well.  Give me some of that too, heart felt, soul wrenching cries for help from all the saints asking God to hear our prayers, to turn and hear.

To turn and hear.  When I’m talking to someone, especially if it’s something from my heart, I want them to turn and look at me, to hear what I’m saying, to see me. To see me, deep down, and to understand the words of my heart.  I have recently been blessed by such a conversation, I was seen.

I want to be seen by God.  Hagar was seen by God, she called him El Roi the God who sees.

Ann Voskamp talks a bit about Hagar, being Hagar, looking for water, wanting water. ..for her and her son. Being saved with water by a God who sees.  I love that.  I love that God sees me too. And I love that I can approach my God, eyes wide open…mine and His.

He sees me.