Thursday 29 November 2018

Hevel...Letting Go


       I’ve been wanting to tell you the story of a little girl, a sweet little friend of my daughter.  A little girl who suffered in the way that no one should suffer let alone a child.  Cancer; the Doctors tried, nurses cared and friends prayed but still she suffered. Every complication that could happen happened, every side effect that could show up showed up.  But yet, even in the midst of it, she was very brave, she was a fighter, tough and smart and she got better…for a while, then she went through it again and again and then…she let go and God took her.  Georgia, a sweet little fighter who gave more than she ever got…her presence in this life was a sweet vapor that couldn’t be taken hold of, but her aroma has been branded into the hearts of those who knew her, her family, her friends, me and even you…now that I’ve told you. 

Have you ever read the words that life is meaningless?  The words originate from a phrase in the bible “Everything is meaningless” Ecclesiastes, this book actually mentions the word ‘meaningless’ some 38 times.

But the actual Hebrew word that is translated as ‘meaningless’ is Hevel.  Hevel means more “like smoke or a vapor or a breath of air blown out”  you cannot take hold of it…there is nothing you can do to grab it or save it or keep it safe or even keep it at all.  And it definitely has meaning… it is sweet, it moves, it gets in your eyes, it can be warm or maybe feel cold, it can have aroma, it can be silent, even invisible, it can be harsh, it can be a gentle breeze…it is not meaningless, it is felt, savored, taken in ...remembered.

All life is Hevel…how beautiful is that.  All of our experiences, the friends we meet, the loves we share, the hands we hold, the hearts we’ve gained…the friends we’ve lost, the loves who left, the hands that let go; sweet vapors, spirals of smoke and long breaths out, all to be remembered and savored, all meaningful…all Hevel.

We don’t know why God gives us these experiences or brings these people into our lives for a long or for such a short little while…but they are gifts. Each one. 

Life happens and for each of us our life is filled with gifts…gifts that cannot be held on to but loved, even though lost or broken or up in smoke they are not meaningless, they are something.


All life is Hevel…I love that.

Monday 1 October 2018

Remembering What is True


This past month I lost a friend, well I haven’t lost her, I know where she is…Heaven has gained a gift.

My friend was so beautiful inside and on the outside, in her youth and also in those last days.  She was beautiful in the words she shared; in her wisdom…almost everything she said was well measured and her responses were felt and properly weighed.  She asked hard questions but always with good intentions. Her comments often reminded me not to forget to remember what was true.  God gave her grace and joy. 

And she was very brave.

I can’t think of a time that she complained, true or false, good or bad, hard or sad; everything was as it should be.  She was aware of her illness and the path that was being carved before her but she didn’t run from it, rather she took it all in…she wanted to live but she was prepared to go.

She was very brave.

She used these days of trouble to rest, to dream and to plan…planning her steps ahead but also resting in the life she lived, the life that God gave her, a beautiful life well lived.  She wanted everyone to know how wonderful God is.  So she planned how her story would be told…to let everyone know that she lived.

She was very brave.

But, she was also filled with joy, she wanted laughter…she said let them laugh and really she wanted dancing.  I loved knowing that. She was far from wild on the outside but her inside was full of adventure and daring, a modest rebel. One of her dreams as a young woman was to be a race car driver…

She was very brave.

As we watched her day by day, slipping away…we were only half there, our hearts were already elsewhere, with her as she stepped out of that race car of death and danced out on that sweet journey home.

Elfrieda, remembering what is true… a brave rebel who lived a beautiful life.


I love that.

Tuesday 3 April 2018

The Cross

What does the cross mean to me? 

I love the truth of it and the power of it. I love the forgiveness that comes with it. I love that Christ overcame it…that He lives.

The cross was never not going to happen, from the trouble God had with Adam and Eve- to His detailed instruction for the building of the temple - to the day Christ prayed in the garden.  Every story is about Christ…It is not a matter of what if; it is a matter of what God did. 

This is how much God loved the world: He gave His one and only son…

Yet God said we would have trouble…I love knowing that God said that…because He also said, I will give you a way to stand up under it.  You will have trouble He said but do not be afraid, put on the armor…stand firm, be still, know that I am with you…my right hand will hold you, I will wait for you, I will fight for you. 

These are the things I know.

When my children were little and wanted to go fish in the water filled ditch by the side of the tracks right out here on the corner of Vye and Marion,  I knew there were dangers…the murky water, the train tracks so close, the road they had to cross…I knew there could be trouble. But what I knew more was that God loved my children more than I did and that I could trust Him to cover them, to watch over them.  They never had any trouble and they never caught any fish, I don’t think there ever were any but they had adventure… and I

had trust and faith and hope and His promise…you will have trouble, but I.  I will be with you.

When I was a little girl my grandparents sometimes took me to Sunday school, I sometimes attended the summer bible school in their church and when I was in grade five I received the little red bible my school allowed to be given out.  I prayed the prayer that was printed on the front pages and I became truly saved. That’s when it started but as I got older life changed, new ideas, new thoughts, new friends and I let my God thoughts slip away, not totally but still. 

John was raised as a Christian, but wasn’t living that life when I met him; not when I married him nor when we had children, but once our children were old enough, he wanted them to go to Sunday school, he wouldn’t go but would I take them? I said no…not without you.  But God was already working, using John despite John.  It wasn’t long when I found myself thinking, the church is just down the road, maybe we could go, it could be a social outlet; they could have fun, play with other children.  So I took them during the Sunday school hour - they had their class and I sat in with the adult class…taking in His word and while I waited for my children, God took hold of me.

A few years later we moved to a new home John said to me, if you and the children would go to Arnold church, I will join you…great, let’s go…but he never did.  Other than he came to special events; taking in piano recitals, Christmas programs, baptisms…he supported attendance to every youth event and paid. He suggested Christian school…but all the while lived his own life.

For 30 some years I prayed for him to walk through the church doors with me and sit beside me on the pew in the midst of the saints and listen to the singing and the sermon and…

God never answered that prayer, not in the way I wanted…but I never gave up hope.

And in the last years we noticed slight changes in the way he did life; little things, choices, words, ways of looking.

Then came our trouble, surely not our only trouble, heaven knows we had lots …but then came THIS TROUBLE…he was sick. We found out something was wrong in September, in October we found out what it was and in November… it was finished.

Cancer. Wrapped around his lungs entangling his heart…his hopes. From his hospital room he said “This changes everything…”  I can still see him standing there… It was like he glowed, like he knew what he had to do, what I knew he already had…

He had heard God’s quiet whisper… and he was being held…God said, throughout your life you did have trouble and now, there will be more, but I am holding you, I Love you, I know you…I have been waiting for you…

He seemed at peace, I noticed it, witnessed it, I stood at his cross and watched him…watched God do something new. As he was dying he said to me I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t know how to love or show it to you…I didn’t know how.  He said he was sorry for knowing about Gods way but not knowing how to leave his own way.
 
Now everything changed…he fell into God’s grace.

I knew a woman, some of you knew her too, her name was Mary, she lived to 102, all the years I knew her and all the years I didn’t… she served God wholeheartedly.

John lived to 58 and all the years I knew him, he chose not to serve God…as well as he could have… but you know, he received the same amazing grace that Mary did…amazing grace, how sweet the sound!  Just the way the thief who hung on the cross aside of Jesus…truly I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise…

John’s last words to me were in a whisper “I will see you on the other side”

And then God took him.


What does the cross mean to me? Forgiveness; Amazing grace; and knowing that death does not have the last word…my hopes confirmed.