November

November, this is the month that everything started happening, it is the month that everything happened, the time that everything happened all at once - in slow motion - but in the blink of an eye.

I have been a little emotional this past week, it seems my heart and my soul know what took place at this time three years ago.  And my mind has been taking me on memory tours of a time I shared with a man who grew up with me but who would not grow old with me.

Memories; sad and hard, happy times and good times, friends and family times, troubled times as well as joyous God filled times.

 

I have shared this story a life time ago but I’m telling it again because these years have been on my mind...

On August 21^st 2005 Pastor Rob provided an opportunity for each person in the congregation to spend wisely for God's Kingdom, he gave out $100.00, one hundred talents, to anyone who wanted to participate in this extravagant opportunity  Even though I took up the challenge I went home wondering, what could I do with these talents?

That Sunday we were having all of my family home for dinner, so once I got home, my children would be there, we’d have lunch and then get ready for extended family to arrive…when someone unexpected came.

Some of you know that we have lived on a farm in Sumas Prairie, beside the freeway, the highway that takes all sorts of travelers to their destinations, east and west, near and far.  From the very day that we moved into that old farmhouse God had in mind to prepare us for service…to entertain His angels.

Our neighbors had big metal gates with signs that said ‘Keep Out’ or signs that said ‘Beware of Dog’ but we preferred to keep our yard open and they came…they came to ask for help.  They came for a can of gas, for the use of our phone, for a ride, for directions, one or two asked for a place to keep warm and one asked for a knife…which I gave, with a prayer whispered just under my breath.  For some, we called the fire department and others the ambulance. They drove in the yard and walked in off the highway.  They came before the sunrise and well after dark.  They came on sunny days and cold windy nights. They waded through the rain filled ditches and trudged through the snow drifts.  Some of them came bravely up to the door and others afraid to see who would answer their knock. They never stopped coming and we never turned one away, not even the one who asked for a knife.

.

On this day, as we were preparing for lunch we were all talking about the service in church that morning and the talents, thinking, wondering, planning...when there was a knock at the door.  John went to answer it and came back saying, "there is a young fellow at the door; he wants something to eat."  He didn’t want to use the phone or get directions or ask for a ride, he simply wanted something to eat.

Our kids, all at once said, ‘give him the money!’ 

In my mind I thought, I can’t just give him the money, though my heart was pounding.  No, but I would give him something to eat.

  

John was chatting with him outside in the yard and he found out that the young man was traveling from Montreal to Victoria on foot…just one foot.

I brought a plate of food for him and I asked ‘where will you stay when you get to Victoria?’  His answer to me was this "the Good Lord will take care of me there, just as He has this whole trip…you see"  he said  "I am spreading His word along the way, I’m telling as many as I can about what God can do."  At that moment I felt the rush of God. With my heart pounding, I told him the story of what happened in my church that morning and then I gave him the talents.

He ate his lunch and chatted with John, with me and with the dogs.  By this time the rest of my family were arriving…no one saw him walk off or how he got back on the highway or which way he went, he was gone.

 ‘Always entertain strangers for by doing so, you may entertain angels without knowing” 

Hebrews 13:2

We never will know how that angel fared along Gods highway or how his talents multiplied…but we know this, that story was told many times that day…the story of what God can do multiplied.  I don’t know how many times my children or John told the story, but I know this... faith multiplied. 

That was the last angel we entertained there…what a wonderful way to end 16 years of serving strangers…with the story of an angel, 100 talents and knowing what God can do.

We moved off the farm a month or so later, October 1, just before the winds came, just before November.  

How are you Doing?

We were talking this morning in church, talking about following God, being obedient, doing what He says, doing this, doing that and what popped up was the question we often ask one another, how are you doing?

We often are more focused on what we are doing rather than who we are doing it for.  It seems we are always thinking of what we are doing and often we take it one step further and focus on what others are doing.  When we meet someone new we often ask them, what do you do? What are you doing with your time?  Sometimes we end up comparing their doing with our own doing.

There are all kinds of doing and of course we were talking this morning about doing for God, but the fact is we displace the doing for God to what are we doing, we are almost selfish in the thoughts about what we do, bragging about doing the right thing, even doing the wrong thing, putting the focus on being proud in serving Him, being obedient to Him…or not.  In our obedience, or in our disobedience, besides affecting our relationship with God we are also affecting one another.

 

Yes, really it does matter what we are doing, what we do affects others, what we do hurts others, but hopefully it blesses others. What we do matters.  A friend of mine, just the other day said to me, “I don’t have to do anything, things will happen and play out just as they should.”  But the truth is we do have to do something, and we are all influenced by what the other does, sometimes in just small seemingly uneventful ways but sometimes in large, big picture, hurtful ways.  Sometimes, and hopefully, more often these influences happen in beautiful, life changing, kind ways.  Truly, small or large, what we do matters, there are those who will be affected…affected by you, how are you doing?

I read a quote the other day; it comes from a book that has recently been made into a movie, a book called 'Cloud Atlas' by David Mitchell…

“Our lives are not our own.  We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness we birth our future.”

I have been affected by these words, how we are bound to one another, bound by what we do, crimes or kindnesses have effects that can last into the next  generation and the next, not only those that belong to you but also to the generations that belong to those you are doing to.

I want to do better…but doing better is hard work.

Paul says it well, 

“For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep doing.”  

                                                                                                            Romans 7:19

How you are doing matters…

How are you doing?

God's Land

I made a solo road trip to Kelowna this weekend, the scenery when I could see it was amazing. On the way there, through the mountains, the roads were clear, edged lightly with fresh snow, the trees along the way on fire with yellows and shades of orange.  The grand mountains towering above everything were frosted with snow; majestic is the name to describe them.

How majestic is your name in all the earth…those words came to mind.

Before long I was driving through the rolling yellow flatlands, dry and long grasses swaying in the wind interspersed with lone tumbleweeds, then on into the hillsides dipping in and out of the valleys, at some points it seemed I was driving through the tops of the trees, their height hidden below in the valleys and then there, a change and I was driving alongside them.  Amongst them were bare hillsides, empty places surrounding circles of trees that stood alone somehow saved from the ravages of the pine beetle…there will always be trouble.

It was a freeing feeling driving solo, taking in God’s creation, processing life’s circumstances, clearing my mind, straightening out choices, right or wrong…hashing it out with God, Him listening, me talking, Him comforting and confirming, me listening.  There is nothing like a drive to clear up your mind from the fog of life.

I drove through some fog on the way there and again on the way home, it is a little scary, just when you are noticing the beauty of the world around you, there you are socked in, the world faded away from around you and there is nothing.  It actually becomes hard to breathe when you find yourself in the fog it is all you can do to stop the panic from entering in.  Interesting don’t you think, one moment you are entirely clear and the next moment all is gone, clarity, peace, safety, any sense at all, gone.

 

When the mountains have had a dusting of snow every detail becomes clear, the lay of the land becomes more pronounced, every crevice, valley, rock face and sheer cliff side stand out. Every forward, back and far slope revealed. Every place where trees have been lost lay low, every rockslide bare and every logging road traced out for all to see, the truth of the land, God’s land, God’s truth.  And then the fog comes down covers and fills every space, every detail, the very air we breathe, it’s like you lose track of the truth.

Ah, but the truth is, don’t panic, there will always be trouble, the fog will lift…it will.

And then, what a beautiful world we will find ourselves in, when we trust God to take us from place to place.  Trust Him, grace is just around the corner through the trees, over the hills, through the flat lands…into God’s land...into God's truth.

I love that.

Run the race, Finish well

This morning my daughter ran in the Niagra Falls Marathon.  This particular marathon is known to have one of the most beautiful places where you can end a race.  In fact it is considered one of the most beautiful finish lines in the world, not to mention one of the wonders of the world.   The particular race she participated in was the Half Marathon, 21.1 kilometers.  Devon said the day was beautiful, blue skies radiating off the water that stretched the length of the route and the trees that were scattered along the way were colors only Ontario knows, vibrant in their beauty.  And my beautiful daughter running through it all taking it in, I wished I had been there.

I told Devon the night before the race to enjoy it, to go with God…to have fun, to laugh and to cry. Tears of joy…tears of emotions met…these are some of the best tears.

I have just finished talking with my girl and shed some of my own tears as she relayed to me the details of her run, her half marathon.  To me it almost seems an oxymoron to call it a ‘half’ marathon.  A Marathon, just the word requires thoughts of work. While you are running, your heart rate goes up and your oxygen level thins, it is hard work and all the parts of your body have to be prepared and trained.

Though I have never been a runner let alone a marathon racer, I understand how it works, how it affects the body.  Nearly 3 years ago my husband was in a marathon, yet he was not a runner at all, but his heart took him into one.  His heart rate for two weeks, day and night, was at the pace of a runner in the middle of a marathon.  His heart was racing so fast that his maximum oxygen capacity was being utilized. Nothing could be done to give him enough oxygen to supply his hearts need…the need in order to finish this mad marathon he was on. Yes, he endured the race and by the grace of God, he finished well.

My daughter, running her race, thinking of her marathon and finishing well, brings me back to all these memories. And it is an honor in a way; it is a reminder of how we can show honor to those who have gone before us, run the race…finish well.

When I told her what was on my mind, she said “Mom, Dad was running right beside me”

 I love that.

        “…and let us run with endurance the race that is set out before us.”   Hebrews 12:1

Love you with everything

Something came up in one of my meetings last week; it was inside of a discussion of Kay Arthur’s words in our study guide.  It had to do with sinning, with repentance and forgiveness.

   

I am all about asking for forgiveness of sins, past and present, but once this is done, we do not have to keep asking for forgiveness; forgiveness comes once and for all.  We need to stop fighting a battle that has already been won.  Unless of course we want to go back to the battle time and time again…sinning again, the same sin again, and again. This is a different issue, but if you have asked for forgiveness and gone forward sinning no more, then that is it…done, the battle is won. Do not be guilted, bombarded, pounded with not being good enough…you are done, it is finished, the battle is won.

It is finished, I love that.

.

Stephen brought up an interesting point in his sermon Sunday morning.  He talked about the Israelites coming out of Egypt only to enter the desert for 40 years and then to be given a so called promised land, a land that was promised but not so promising, a land of milk and honey, but not so much. It was a dry land just a step better than the desert they came out of, there was little rain and this land was filled with giants. So these people of God went from slaves in Egypt to wandering in a desert to a land that was filled with giants.  Each step required faith and trust to believe God. Now, these were hard steps to take, to believe God, to trust Him, they had a hard time doing it, some of them never did, some of them never made it into that promised land.

And then Stephen pointed out that this is how God leads us, even today.  He takes us from a situation that is hard, a situation where we have nothing to do but trust God to a place where all we have is to trust God! This is what God does; He makes promises that require us to trust Him, to depend on Him.  Think about it, each new accomplishment, each small failure, each giant step and every small step that we take puts us into a situation where we need to trust God again.  Trusting God never ends.  Trusting God is a never ending story of faith, of love, of peace and joy.

Asking for forgiveness frees us, trusting God saves us, and believing Him is life.

I want to live this way; free, trusting, believing…living; with every breath I take, with every step I make.

“…every breath, every moment life beats in my chest, let my life praise you…

                                                     love you with everything.”                                                                                                                                   Gungor

                                                     

I love that.

God's Grace

This weekend has been a celebration of Thanksgiving, the holiday where we remember how far God has brought us.  How much He has given us, the blessings we have received, the ones that are there for the world to see and who will rejoice along with us and the ones too, that are seen only by our own heart and soul.

I love both kinds of blessings.

 

I have just written beside #659 in my journal of thankfulness, the book where I record the gifts I am thankful for in the moments of my day. I am aiming for one thousand written down gifts and recorded messages of thankfulness. Mostly I am thankful for God’s Grace and these words are written in unseen script aside each and every entry.

God’s grace.

For this Sunday morning service our church put together a slide show of our people, saints in Christ, holding up signs that are written with words of the things they are thankful for.  It is a beautiful showing of thankfulness, love and blessings.  Some were thankful for books and toys, there were those that were thankful for family and for friends.  Some were thankful for nature, for health and for provision. I cried when I read that my daughter was thankful for her husband.

I am thankful for husbands too, the two that are married to my daughters and for my son who is one. I am thankful for those who have been lost in body but are so present in heart and soul, Kevin, Gord and my own…John; those that have been saved by grace to a better place.

Saved by grace.

Each and every day I feel the saving grace of God, how He wraps His strong arm around me and holds me up, through every circumstance, every failure, every accomplishment, every win, every loss, with my friends and with those that are not so much.  His saving grace is always there, in my sadness and in my joys.  These last few months have been good and I really have been blessed, I have so much to be thankful for.

#659 I am thankful for all the joy in my life…and God’s grace

I love that.

My Confidence

Confidence, I have come across this word several times in the last few weeks, among other things, it reminds me of a conference I went to, maybe two years ago.  The message of the conference had to do with having self confidence, keeping it, and holding on to it, knowing we are worth something, being confident in our selves, knowing who we are and what we stand for.  The conference speaker used Hebrews 10:35 for the basis of the message...

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.”  

                                                                                                                          

The thing about this verse is that it has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with what we believe; our faith, do we believe in something that is true?  Is the God we believe in true? Do we believe in His son, who died for us? Can we be confident that we can trust Him, believe that He is who He says He is?  Do we have confidence that He will do what He says he will do?

I am not always confident in myself, I fail, I make wrong choices, I am human, and I am far from perfect.  Sometimes I trust myself to be wise and true and good, to know who I am and to stand up for myself and what I believe.  But sometimes I lose all the confidence that I could possibly hold on to…as far as I am concerned.  Yes, I fail and I make wrong choices and it leaves me wondering “what was I thinking?”

Well what I am thinking is that I am so thankful that the confidence I have in myself is not what counts.  What counts is the confidence I have in my faith, my God.  He will be my right hand, He will hold me up, He will give me grace when I fail, He will say this is the way walk in it, He will see me where I am, He will hold me in the palm of His hand, though I walk through the valley of death He will comfort me and He will carry me on the wings of an eagle to give me strength. He turns my sadness to joy and He rejoices over me with singing! My confidence is in Him, He is my confidence.

This past week our study spoke to having confidence in your faith…

 

“…if you cling to Gods word, believe Him, not turn away no matter how difficult it gets, you will be able to persevere, to possess your soul. Your soul is what makes you, you. Faith wins!”

I love that.

“Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me…bless the Lord oh my soul ten thousand years and forever more!

Back to real life...

It is that time of year again, the time when we all hunker down to get back at it...back to real life.  Setting schedules, back to bed times and meal times... proper ones. Phones are ringing with calls that are telling us times and places to be and how to get there. We are searching out the details we need to know from news papers, lists taped to doors, computer postings and from friends who know more.

When I was a young mom, this was not my favorite time of year, I loved having my children home with me, I loved the carefree days of summer but I also looked forward to having a schedule...organized time.  Even though I am in a different place and time in this life, still, I am affected by this time of year, even a Nana has a schedule.  But what I think of as we all start setting our schedules is how quickly we can get caught up in all the planning.

With all this planning in the air, let's remember to look and see who we are planning for.  We need to remember to consider one another, especially those we love, that as we go about it, all this planning, to offer encouragement, to think of showing love, compassion, respect...we are all God's children, hoping for good.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."

Hebrews 10:24

As we head out of summer and back to real life...enjoy your planning...and God Bless.

                                                                                

See you around here in the fall...I love that.

Feeling Right...

Something doesn’t feel right.

That’s how life goes...some things don’t feel right ...and some things, feel just perfect. I talked to a good friend about this one day, just a heart beat ago, and its true...so true, about many things.

Some sin does not feel right. But some sin feels right and good and perfect.  The interesting part is that one can be moved easily from one column to the other...easily.

We are all sinners.

Yes, we all sin and believe it or not, God does not play favourites in this area.  One sin is not better than another, a sin is a sin.  Face it we are all sinners.  It’s a new revelation for me, not the sinning part or that we all are one, it is the fact that God does not play favourites.  I usually love new revelations of God’s love and grace and mercy, those that happen because of eventual goodness, seemingly deserved, goodness winning out.  But right now I am in awe of  the revelation that He can show exactly the same love and grace and mercy to those who seemingly do not deserve it...how could God love that sinner, the one who did that sin?

I love that about God, He can make it so that any sin is a blessing, something to be grasped and held on to, to turn over...to turn and sin no more.

Do not sink in your sin, God has grace and mercy for you, He can turn all things to good, for you and for me...especially me.

I don’t know who said it, or where I found it, but I am saving this little quote, I am putting it where I can see it and read it and take it in...

“It’s not about what it is, it is about what it can become...”

I love that.

Stepping Stones

It was my birthday today, I received notes from friends, old and new, words of blessings, words of wisdom, love and encouragement...all gifts of the heart.  I received a gift or two as well and maybe one more, given, poured out from the soul.  The givers in themselves gifts of God.

Years ago my Dad gave me a gift of words, he told me once, when I was just a girl really, I was stepping out into the world and he said ‘One step at a time Judy, first you crawl, then you walk and then, you can run...take it one step at a time.”

I have always loved that he told me that, that I have those words to fall back on, to slow down and measure my pace.

When we first moved into this home, John made a sidewalk part way around the house.  Embedded in the walkway are red stepping stones placed a certain distance apart, it is hard to walk at a normal pace if you want to step on each one, each step has to be measured.  Life is a maze of stepping stones, taking you in the direction you should go. The trick is to step on the right stones in the right measures.

A friend said to me the other day, be like a scale...balance everything, measure what is good. 

Yes, but in order to measure something you need to have something to measure against...hopefully it is something good.

Sometimes, I find that God gives you something, it is not yours to keep, it is given in order to see what is possible, to see a glimpse of what He has in store for you.  It is given as a means of measure, to measure all things against, to taste and see and know and wait for it to come for keeps...for you.  It is a stepping stone, a gift and God gives his children good gifts...I love that.

 I will be measuring all things against that gift...something good...a gift from God.

This is where I stand right now, I am on the road to enjoying life, stepping out and stepping on stones...one step at a time measuring and balancing good gifts.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above”   James 1:17

I love that.

The Greatest Story Ever Told

A man came up to my desk while I was on my shift at the Cancer Agency today.  He handed me a piece of paper, said someone must have dropped it, it was a boarding pass for American Airlines flying out of Chicago to Providence for a Ms Mcphail.  It was dated May 3, 1997. It begged to tell the story of a missed flight, perhaps a love lost, a rendezvous not met.  Perhaps they did meet and the pass was saved as a remembrance of that anniversary...but now lost.

Ahh a love story, who doesn’t enjoy a love story?

I shared and witnessed a few of them this morning... 

A little girl was coming off the elevator with her grandmother she seemed very happy and I asked her what she would be doing today.  She said she was going to be having a play date today, she had one yesterday and today she was going to have another one...”with the exact same person!” She was skipping with excitement and clapping her hands in joy, her grandmother smiling beside her.  Love, what a great expectation.

A little earlier two very elderly patients came out of the senior’s clinic in the office right next to my desk, I wished I had asked how old they were, but they were in love, no doubt. She was teasing him about being in her way, he turned slightly and said “yes dear”, she smiled and winked at me, he reached for her hand and held it, saying “put it into high gear mom” Now they both laughed, he with his cane and her with a walker. I stood and watched them walk down the hallway admiring them, hoping I will have that some day.  Love, such a beautiful time.

At least twenty people gathered at the elevator, they were subdued, some of them holding packages, talking quietly, looking for others, waiting.  I thought maybe they were going to a conference or a learning center, but no, they were all one family going upstairs to hear what the Doctor had to say about their loved one.  I heard later it was the largest gathering of support for one patient.  A dedicated family overflowing with love...love wanting more.

Today, a husband wheeled his frail, frail wife in a wheel chair up to the elevator, he took her just to the side of the door, came in front of her and bent down to kiss her, she ever so slightly lifted her face to meet his...it was the sweetest kiss. Then he went around, wheeled her into the elevator and the door closed.  My heart stopped and a tear fell.  Love still being felt and honoured and mourned.

I witnessed all these today and maybe more, yes there were more.  I was on the outside peeking in on love stories...they are all around us...I love that.

Love...the greatest story ever told.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  

But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13

The Orange Wallet

I was in the grocery store standing in the checkout line, a man was standing behind me holding an orange wallet, obviously a woman’s wallet and I wondered about it.  I wondered why he had a woman’s orange wallet, I wondered why he didn’t seem to care and I wondered where his wife was, surely coming around the corner anytime.  He placed his bag of sugar on the counter, the bag tore open and sugar spilled out, he tried to brush it away but gave up on that.  Just like he didn’t care about the orange wallet, he didn’t really care about the spilled sugar.  He was opening the orange wallet; his cards slipped out and fell to the floor.  He reached down to pick them up and I wondered if I should help him or should I say something, a joke maybe.  

Somehow I thought, no.

Now I was paying for my groceries and about to lift the bags when he started talking, not really to anyone.  He said, 'my wallet was lost but it was found intact.'  

I thought, the orange wallet?  

He went on to say that everything was in it, all of his credit cards, all of his identification, all of his loose papers and all of his money.  One thousand dollars, cash.  We were all listening, the clerk, the East Indian lady behind him and me.

He was pretty comfortable with this orange wallet, was this the one lost?  At any rate the wallet had been found, someone had found it and turned it in completely as it was.  He wanted to give the person who found it a reward but they hadn’t left a name and the police didn’t know or wouldn’t say.  The person had found it in a recycling bin at the recycling depot.  I asked 'how do you think it got there?'  He said he thought it probably slipped out of his pocket into a bag he was taking to the road. 

From what I had witnessed earlier, I nodded in agreement.

 

How amazing that there are honest people, considerate and humble and willing to return lost items...people who are steadfast and true to others in their world, people who are not looking to their own gain at the expense of another’s loss...honest people, heroes really.

 

He was amazed, we all were, but here is the part that stood out.

 

When he realized his wallet was gone, he searched the house, looking everywhere, madder than a hatter.  His wife had asked him if he had prayed.  He said to us, that he told his wife, “Don’t’ be ridiculous, God does not care about some fool who lost his wallet!”  She had replied with “well then I will pray.”

Four hours later he got a phone call from the police, “Sir, have you lost a wallet?”

He didn't know any of us, he didn’t know how we would respond but he didn't care...he was ‘out there’ talking about God, talking about praying and telling us about answered prayer.

I love that.

Something to talk about

My friend sent out this quote this morning,

“Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you”

That’s an eye opener.

Then there was this warning I read recently in a book by Elsie H. R. Rempel,

“Because we see life most clearly from our own perspective, we can be tempted to consider our faith stage the norm, and use it to judge others.”

Judging, perspectives, being tempted, sinning, seeing most clearly...differently

...differently than you.

Really, it is hard to see anything at all in a different way because we are seeing everything through our own eyes; everything is weighed from our own experiences, our own perspectives, it is all weighed by what is going on in our own head. From our view, it seems that what we see is the norm whether it is in regards to our faith or any other occurrence in life.  And really what is going on in our head sometimes seems so simple, so straight forward.  Why doesn’t everyone see that? Well the truth is everyone does see that...from their own stage of the norm!  We are all going around looking out at the world from our own, simple, straight forward viewpoint.

It is hard work to turn and see the view from someone else; the possibilities of what could be a different view.

I want to see differently, yes I do think of glasses as half full rather than half empty, yes I do look to the positive rather than the negative but I want to see differently. 

I am also thinking that to see differently we have to talk about it...otherwise how will we know?

A Tear fell

Andrew shared a beautiful sermon this morning.  His words were filled with heart and soul, love and truth.  His words brought me to tears.

God was found in a gentle whisper... 1 Kings 18,19

I am sure that everyone in church this morning was going over their own mountain top-to-in-the valley experiences, moments of time filling their hearts and minds and souls, feeling the way I did. Thinking of their times in the desert, maybe still there, holding out for God, waiting for His gentle whisper.  

I heard a pin drop... a tear fell...and then, more.

In amongst the beautiful words Andrew shared this morning, one small thing caught my attention.  It had to do with imagining outcomes or reasons of events.  This is something we all are guilty of...putting our imaginations to things that happen in our lives.  Imaginations that have no basis for truth, but are thoughts of what could be, or what should be and maybe even what we should do about it, all blown up into such proportions that the truth itself becomes distorted.

 

How often do we get ourselves in trouble by doing this?  I know I’m guilty of it.

Or how often are we hurt by doing this, we come away feeling unloved, not accepted, maybe even abandoned.

On Friday night I was in a small book store, where I read an excerpt from a book, Wherever You Go There You Are, the author says

 “...we usually fall quite unawares into assuming that what we are thinking – the ideas and opinions that we harbour at any given time - are the truth about what is ‘out there’ in the world.  Most of the time it just isn’t so...we lock ourselves into a personal fiction that we already know what is happening- all the while remaining in thoughts, fantasies and impulses, mostly about the past and about the future, about what we want and like, and what we fear and don’t like, which spin out continuously, veiling our direction and the very ground we are standing on.”

Imaginations that cloud what is true; imagining that you are not loved, believing that you could not be loved, supposing this , thinking that...these imaginations hurt.  They hurt the heart and soul.  We should all work at seeing what is true.

“If I could give you one thing, I would give you the ability to see yourself 
through my eyes.  Then you would realize how special you are."  

                                                                                  unknown

Hmmm, I love that.

Things from life this week

 "Nothing is ever as it seems ~ every perfect picture hides a mess or two"

                                                                                                in a song by Rita Wilson

...so true, especially in these days, but conversely, inside every mess there is a perfect picture too.

My new word ~ epipipto ~ it means; to fall on you in embrace; to take possession of you.

the word is found in Luke 15:20 ...when the father sees his prodigal son returning home, he runs out to meet him and falls on him in embrace!

The Lord wants to fall on you in embrace, to take possession of you. 

epipipto ...I love that. 

If Jesus were on trial for being your Lord and savior, would you constitute enough evidence to prove Him guilty? 

                         You.  You are going to be the evidence that Christ is who He says He is.

in a sermon by Darrell Johnson

'When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said "I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." '  John 8:12

Intimidation  is something that  handicaps your ability to function normally; 

it prohibits you from being yourself.

                                             so you can see the world,

                  the mountain,

      Climb                                                                       not so the world can see you.

Dana saw him the other day, he was standing out in the yard watching Kevin levelling the ground around the site of the new shop...  and Kenzie was playing peek a boo with him out on the porch.  Devon was watching and asked “Kenzie who are you playing peek a boo with?” “With Papa” he replied, “he’s sitting right there.”

    The heart has its reason that reason knows nothing of.

I love that.

Hope Deferred

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.      

Proverbs 13:12

For just a moment, on Sunday morning, Pastor Larry Schram talked about this verse and I was reminded of a time not that long ago.

I remember.  I remember it very well.  The day the Doctor said to us that there was no hope.  Through tears I spoke up for John and I said ‘but there could be a miracle.’  She shook her head ‘no.’

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

I’ve come to realize since then, that it is always better to give some hope...always.

Cancer is a scary word, true, but it is not a death sentence.  Today there are so many ways of treatment, new ways, better ways...there is always a way, if it is not a way out now, right now, there is a way to hope for the next day, the next way...always there is hope...even if it is the hope only God offers.  The blessed hope.

I read a magazine article the other day, where a woman was told by her Doctor, that there was nothing they could do for her, she was devastated. 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

The Doctor said they would go ahead with the treatment anyway.  Amazingly enough, it worked, the cancer shrunk, she was going to be okay.  But the Doctor had said nothing could be done? Really, nothing?  Wouldn’t it have been better to offer hope in the first place?  She said “What I still can’t understand is why they would take away my hope before the answer would be clear.”

There is a fine line between being real with the pain of knowing and being real with the hope of healing.  There is a fine line between being not unrealistic and being hopeful. It is true that it’s hard to know the difference, but, as far as it depends on you, always, offer hope.

Working at the cancer agency I have observed that it is not the patient who is down, in fact they are usually cheering everyone else up.  It is true that when you hear of someone who has been diagnosed, that your reaction is sadness...yes, it’s sad, but be careful; don’t defer hope.  Hope should always be conveyed, hope should always be realized and hope should always be maintained.

A friend of mine asked her friend who had been diagnosed with a form of lymph cancer “What can I do for you?”  His answer,  “The best thing you can do is to make me laugh; send me stories, pictures, movies anything that will make me laugh.”

So my friend looked for anything that was funny.  Along the way something happened to her, she cheered up, she found a way to feel better.  In the process of cheering up her friend she found herself looking on the brighter side, the hopeful side and she in turn gave him hope.

 

He was wise in asking for it, she was encouraged in doing it...offering hope.

Offering hope, Libby Znaimer, the author of the magazine article I had been reading called it, the audacity of hope.

      audacity, noun

      1.boldness or daring, especially with confident or arrogant disregard 
       for personal safety, conventional thought, or other restrictions.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick...the audacity of hope, brings healing to the heart and soul...it is a tree of life.  

I love that.

Under construction, truly

It seems I am always under construction, being fixed, needing repairs...oh-oh, there she goes again!  I am God’s construction site...truly; He’s not finished with me yet.

I have just read a cute magazine article about a young woman who learned from her parents a myriad of fixing and making things better.  Doing and knowing, learning and experiencing.  She talked about building and repairing.  What got me was that she knew how to countersink a screw.

 

I can’t do that...well, yes I can.  I know the names of most tools and I have an understanding of what they are used for.  I can fix a lot of things; ask my daughters, my mom, ask my Dad.  Ask my friend Teresa, she bought one of my homes, she can certainly attest to some of my repair jobs...truly, don’t ask Teresa.

 

There are some jobs I am not proud of although they always served the purpose in a time of need, more like a time of ‘how can I do this now!’  Lots of my fixes were innovative and inventive and imaginative but not often by the book.  I can do most repairs, my Dad trusts that I can do it, my son and my son-in-laws believe that I can and John almost always let me do it.

 

John was not really into home repair, although he was attempting it, we were half way into renovating our home when he got sick. He was trying, learning, doing.  No, John was a road construction man, he knew straight lines, levels, slopes and grades, he understood them, and even though he told me often enough that he was getting tired of it, I knew he loved it.

Not that long ago I drove over the Port Man Bridge, through the impressive web of bridge building construction.  Although on that day, all the equipment was still, sitting alone in the places where men left them, cranes, loaders, graders...all the road building equipment that reminded me of John... still, quiet.

I felt like stopping right there, parking my car, getting out...truly, taking it in.

Reaching high, high, above were lengths and lengths of steel cable linking to steel towers poured with cement reinforced and held fast with more steel.  It was impressive.  It was beautiful.  In the background of this world of Man’s construction was God’s construction.  Amazingly beautiful; mountains, steel blue, cold, fresh snow capped.  The sky, intense, bright, bright blue.  The clouds, fluffy, white, light.  I was struck by the contrast and the comparison of mans cold steel world with God’s natural world; both strong, both massive, both bold.

The work that man can accomplish and the work that God creates, seen at once.  It was altogether beautiful.

Truly, it is a beautiful world.

      "... looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God."

Hebrews 11:10

A few things from today

"Do you agree with me - or do you think I am right?" 

Charlie Bentall 1970   ...hehehe I love that!

“May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing in your sight”  

 Psalm 19: 14

Dining well, but sharing little...

            Moved while here, but failed to stir after we leave...

                                         We take it all in, but do little...

 Jesus, the sermon on the mount, after all is said, it's as if He is asking, you have heard what I said, now what will you do with it?

                                                      What will I do?

We don’t change because we want to belong to Christ, we change because we do belong to Christ.

“You have heard it said God will only give what you can handle?  Well, I say God only gives what He can handle...I trust Him”      Thanks Patti, I love that 

Even though they are not with us, walking along side us, talking with us, even  though dying, many, through their faith still speak.

                                                                              

on my shift at the hospital...

Today I saw many who were weak but had someone close by to walk along side...hold on;

People who will never be alone...I promise you;

People who were tired...holding hands...being rocks...loving through it.

Today I saw tears.

But today I saw hope, I saw love, I saw life;

I saw God today.

In memory of my Buddy ...he is being honoured today by Devon,  who is walking all through the night in the Relay for Life,  far, far away in Ontario.

                                                                           I love that... 

                                                     Hebrews 11:4  

"...though dead, through his faith he still speaks."