Monday, 26 October 2015

Brace Yourself

This past summer I read something that was old, I’ve read it a hundred times, more, but this time something new came out of it and I can’t get it out of my head.  Then I read something else, something new and it confirmed the old and I can’t get it out of my head.  These two ideas, rolling around bumping into each other inside of my head, answering a question, turning old hurts into new hope… bits of each of them, slipping down into my heart, like tears slipping down my cheeks; tears falling into my soul. 

I am often learning new lessons, but I just as often lose sight of them in a short time, I don’t want to lose this one and it has become my new mantra, my new lesson of staying alive, living this life as I am, with what I have been given, but also with what will be taken; living my life.

Maybe three years ago, around that time, God gave me a promise and I have been hanging on to it, hoping for it, counting on it, loving it, wanting it, knowing it and trusting God for it…I have it framed and hanging on my wall; lavishly more… true.  But I didn’t expect these years of waiting.  One of my lessons in the waiting, one that I am always forgetting is I need to not be so easily affected by what happens in the waiting, He has to remind me of this over and over again…God, can’t I remember that, hold onto that, live that?

Then three words happened, read in the old and again in the new; Anything, Abraham and Cling.

Anything; a book by Jenny Allen, asks the question what are you willing to give up to live a better, more fulfilling life concerning your faith? After reading and thinking and praying I responded, God, I will give up anything you ask.  What are you asking me to give up?  He answered; Brace yourself … and I realized with tears that He was asking me to give up the promise, not that it couldn’t still happen but I needed to let go of it, to stop living by it.

Abraham; promised by God that he would have a son, years and years passed by  and in Abraham’s old age God came true on that promise; Isaac.  But then, God said, take your one and only son, this promise I gave you and take him, bind him and sacrifice him on the mountain.  Take this promise I gave you and let go of it.

The amazing part of this story is; Brace yourself…Abraham was willing to sacrifice the promise, for God… anything! 

Cling; about God, Sarah Young writes “Though I have brought many pleasures into your life, not one of them is essential, enjoy my good gifts but do not cling to them.”  Abraham chose to be willing to give up his gift, his promise…I wanted to keep mine.

Three books, three words, one building on the other, confirming this new big idea; Brace yourself…be willing to sacrifice the promise, do not cling to it, yes, even the promise, like Abraham.  So over and over again, sinking it into my heart and soul and mind, I realized, my promise, given by God, that good gift, is my Anything.

I asked again, what will I give up?  What gift will I stop clinging to? 

I heard myself say; Brace yourself
Anything.