Handfuls of Glitter

I have been packing up my house, taking pictures off walls, emptying book shelves, cleaning closets, emptying them; packing away mementos and keepsakes, all of it into boxes or onto piles waiting to be wrapped with paper.  All the photos of my family taken down, held in my hands, memories packed tidily away.

I am moving, packing up all of my things…my things.  Mementos of my travels to Israel, reminders of an amazing trip that happened nearly six months ago, mementos packed, time passed, moments gone.  There are other things, baby toys, stored diapers and soothers, no longer needed, babies growing up…out grown all of these.  Ah and there are these; things I had slipped away a life time ago, John’s things, quietly waiting to be looked at again, touched…tucked away, waiting for a time such as this.

I am moving…leaving this beautiful place, the memories I am taking with me, the sad ones letting blow with the wind, the glad ones melting my heart.  I have lived here for six years, this day being very nearly the exact day John and I bought this home; six years ago, not a long time, but a life time…two years with John and four years without him.  And this day is his day November 22, four years gone. Four years, it seems in the blink of an eye but yet it seems like a life time ago.  Four years…where has the time gone, not to mention that life…the life of having someone by my side, in the cold of the night and in the walking about of the day?

Waiting, but not alone, certainly not in the desert, no, it has not been where I have felt deserted; on the contrary I have not been alone at all, God has been with me every step of the way, while he has not given me this one thing, filled this empty place beside me, He has given me immeasurably more; my children, ten growing up grandchildren, my people, good friends, experiences, amazing adventures, sweet dreams, handfuls of glitter, moments of grace, comfort, His strong arm around me…me tucked under the feathers of His love.  Who could ask for more, even in the midst of my losses, He has given me one blessing after another.

  

Truly, as I look around this house, going from room to room, my eyes taking in the empty walls and vacant shelves, seeing these stacks of memories, even the mementos already packed away in brown boxes and these here, waiting, I think, this is it, my life.  My life, being packed up, but thankfully it’s not an ending, it is a beginning…my time here is done, I’m on my way into a new chapter, new life…and I’m okay with that.

With all that I’ve done and seen and shared….with all that I have felt and experienced and known…everything that has been built up and fought for….for all that I have joyed in and laughed over…yes, even cried, sad mad tears and those wept in awesome wonder…through all of it, these things that can’t be packed away in boxes or stacked up in piles, through all of this John would be happy for me...I know that.

“Hey Bud, come on, I’m ready, let’s go”…here he comes, throwing handfuls of glitter, all smiles, taking the credit, but proud so proud.

Him proud of me, I love that.

What do You See?

When Potiphar saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant....Later while Joseph was in prison, the warden saw that the LORD was with him, so the warden put Joseph in charge of all that was done there.  

Genesis 40:3-21

I found it interesting that Potiphar, as well as the warden, saw that God was with Joseph, but his brothers did not…why is that do you think?

Potiphar and the prison warden were Egyptians, yet they were open to the fact that God worked through people, they understood that the attributes and actions of those in favor with God were worth being around, that they had something to offer.  Even though they were Egyptians they could still see God and the hand He had in Joseph’s life.   I found it interesting that Joseph’s brothers who were Israelites, who were born and raised with the teachings of God, could not see that God was with Joseph…why is that?

Some like to say that Joseph was spoiled, he was, the Bible says so; it says that Jacob “loved Joseph more than any of his other sons.”  Some like to say that he was spoiled rotten, maybe even obnoxious, I'm not so sure; the Bible doesn’t say so.  But it does say that the brothers were jealous, it says that the brothers hated Joseph because they “saw their Father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not say a kind word to him.”  They could not see God was with him because they could only see hate; hate and jealousy.

Joseph was their brother and all of them were raised with teachings of God, yet they could not see God, only hatred, only jealousy and murderous thoughts, they didn’t care that Joseph may have had dreams from God; they only knew that it was not in favor of them.  Jealousy causes suffering; it blinds the eyes to see what is really there.

How often do we see someone who is succeeding and place a label of spoiled rotten on them, we are jealous and respond in line with that thinking, with hate and anger.  We want what they have and in order to get whatever it is they have, we plot and hate and like Joseph’s brothers, sometimes hold thoughts of murder. Thoughts of jealousy blind us to anything good at all.

I can think of several times where my jealousy has limited my view of God, I’m sure you can too…times where feelings of hate and anger overtook seeing God, let alone anything good at all.

Wouldn’t it be great that when we are dealing with one another, instead of seeing the things that make us jealous, things that cause hurt and anger and disagreement, we could see that God was with them?

This is hard to do, I know that.  I have been taught the hope and faith and joy and loving kindness of God, I know God, yet sometimes I cannot see that God is with the people I have objection with.  The fact is, and I know this too, God opens the eyes of those to see Himself at work all around.  I want my eyes to be opened, I want to look for good, and I want to see God in those around me.  

God before jealousy…I love that.

This is what I want to see...what do you see?

A Golden Bowl

I went to a retreat on the weekend, a fabulous place of serenity, peace and yes, a dip in the lake!

Yes, it was cold, but so worth it, the next day we talked about being strong and courageous, I was.  My Dad was in this position once, a long time ago.  His choice was to take a dip in the lake to bathe and wash up or to go inside for a warm shower, he chose the latter but always wished he had done the more daring.  I have always thought of that, his little story of regret...I took it in and kept the lesson…do the thing, right then, don’t leave the moment wishing you had.

 

So I did.  I took the plunge, dove right in and man, that was great!  And, I’ll do it again, as long as it’s safe, I’ll do it again!

Diving in, taking the plunge, so great, there is almost nothing better…but on the other hand there is good in waiting too, waiting for the right time…the proper time.

On our retreat we talked about waiting too, waiting on God.  This is something I know a little about, actually I know a lot about it.  I set my prayers on having a Godly husband, thirty-six years I prayed and lamented and waited and prayed and lamented some more, waiting.  At the end of the time, at the proper time, God answered that prayer…and I was amazed.  I received a blessing that was more than I expected, lavishly more.  Waiting; but yet at the proper time

I have just finished up the tail ends of my Dad’s estate, my Dad was sick for 15 years, I prayed for his healing, prayed and lamented and waited and prayed and lamented some more, waiting.  At the end of the time, at the proper time God answered that prayer…and I was amazed, we all were.  We received a blessing that was more than we could have imagined, lavishly more.  Waiting; but yet at the proper time.

Timing is everything.

I find myself waiting again, waiting for the thing, praying, lamenting and waiting some more.  I intend to keep on praying, to keep on waiting because I have seen how God works, more than that, I know how He works.  He works by giving lavishly more!

A friend said to me once, “Do not give up on me.”  I like that phrase…give up?  Never!

"and they were told to wait a little longer..."

I will wait for the right time, yes, waiting and praying for lavishly more, in His time, the proper time.

“An angel, who had a golden bowl came and stood at the altar.  He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all the saints on the golden altar before the throne.  The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel’s hand. Then the angel took the bowl, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth…”                                                                            

Timing is everything…praying is more…and I intend to hurl some from my golden bowl.

Something happens in the heavenlies when we pray...I love that!

Revelation 6:10 and Revelation 8:1-5