“You’re not alone, and you are not the one in charge.”
The Nightingale
Words from a few days ago, found in the novel I am reading...the
last few days it has proven true…I am not alone and I am not the one in
charge. Surprise.
I have spent the better part of February in Ontario, Atwood,
a small town in an amazing corner of the world; at the time blanketed in snow,
not too deep, crystal bright and crispy cold.
I spent time with my grandchildren, living, loving, laughing; watching
movies, playing games, hockey…sometimes fighting. We baked, read stories, wrote them and had
adventures. I walked the dog, crazy running wild, jumping dog, up the snowy
field, turned left on the ski-do trail and into the fairy sprinkled forest,
stepping through hunters’ trails, over smaller foot prints left in the snow;
fed the chickens, defrosted water and collected eggs, sometimes cracked and sawdust
coated; drove to school in a windblown, snow flying morning; gymnastic meeting,
got lost searching, for just a moment…turn left…right, here; visiting family,
friends, listening; hilarious stories, fun times, adventures; Kenzie, Riley and
Gracie. Too much fun.
My daughter and her husband were going on a tropical sunny
beach holiday, hoping to be warmed, tanned, kissed by the sun and she asked if I could
come out to help take care of her ‘life’ on the farm, not all of it just
some. Of course I can.
I spent the better part of the last day, of my daughters’
world, in the hospital; being checked, blood taken, probed, connected, and
scanned.
We had other plans, my daughter
and I; a bit of fitness, shopping, sipping coffee, eating lunch, meandering to
the airport…to send me home…that was my plan.
But I found out pretty quickly plans can be changed and I am not the one
in charge. So, I found myself enveloped in
the hands of others, those who know about things I don’t; those who have the
talent to search and re-search; people helping; Doctors, nurses, daughters,
sons and praying friends…I am not alone.
Plans change, stuff happens…this is how easy it is for us to
realize that our plans are not so important; life is…love is. For a moment I thought I was in charge, but
in a blink I knew; not me, it is Gods hand on me…me; only trusting.
Trusting, that’s all any of us can do really, life unfolding…ask
for help when you need it and give help when you can.
Friends, family and God.
I am not alone and I am not the one in charge…I love that.
