Today I fell.
Yes, all the way
down.
I was walking down
the hallway, on the way to my shift at the hospital, for some reason I was
thinking about walking and falling, I don’t remember in what context and then
down I went. Sticking, just this far, tipping
and then more and then down! I was humiliated
at the halfway down part but then even more humiliated as I went completely
down. Yes, insult and injury. Up ahead,
just before I fell, I saw a man coming my way, as I fell, I thought here comes
my life saver, he will catch me just in time and I won’t go down at all, I will
be saved. But I wasn’t and he didn’t.
Well, to give him credit, he did try and he did walk past my
desk three times to make sure I was okay, I assured him I was and then I didn’t
see him again. But I did go back to the
place where I fell, called the cleanup crew and then made sure the cleanup
happened. Still wishing I had been
saved, saved from the humiliation, saved from the fall and saved from the
inevitable pain that is bound to show up in the next day or two.
Being saved, isn’t that what we all want, to be saved from
humiliation that comes from misplaced steps, to be saved from pain, the pain
that comes with injury, with suffering and loss? We want to be saved from the suffering that
comes our way from no fault of our own, suffering that interrupts our life as
we know it. We want someone to help us, to help me, to save me; we want the interruption
to not be an interruption at all. We
want life as is, safe, good, fair, and maybe even perfect with no mistakes in
it, left the way we have become used to living it.
Life doesn’t happen that way, messes happen in our hallways
and we fall down. These messy interruptions
do not happen to us, getting in our way, messing up our plans…these interruptions
are our life, this is what is happening now, do not wish for something else,
this is it, live it.
Recently a friend has drawn us in to her interruption, and
it’s a big one, she has been sharing her attitude with us daily, over and over
again, her son has cancer, her life is happening and she is responding with an
attitude of gratitude. She has chosen
it, they all have, their little family, being drawn in to joy despite the
suffering of the pain.
She has been giving thanks to God, to her friends, to her
family and even to strangers who are simply doing their jobs in the messy hallways; to her, these have all been life savers.
Lifesavers.
That’s what we want…people coming along side lifting us up,
giving us support and encouragement…Lifesavers…knowing that, ultimately, all of
these have been placed in our way by God.
Yes, Him too, encouraging us on in every step we take, all through the messed
up hallways reminding us that He is the life saver.
God, the ultimate Lifesaver…I love that.
