This past summer I read something
that was old, I’ve read it a hundred times, more, but this time something new
came out of it and I can’t get it out of my head. Then I read something else, something new and
it confirmed the old and I can’t get it out of my head. These two ideas, rolling around bumping into
each other inside of my head, answering a question, turning old hurts into new
hope… bits of each of them, slipping down into my heart, like tears slipping
down my cheeks; tears falling into my soul.
I am often learning new lessons,
but I just as often lose sight of them in a short time, I don’t want to lose
this one and it has become my new mantra, my new lesson of staying alive,
living this life as I am, with what I have been given, but also with what will
be taken; living my life.
Maybe three years ago, around
that time, God gave me a promise and I have been hanging on to it, hoping for
it, counting on it, loving it, wanting it, knowing it and trusting God for it…I
have it framed and hanging on my wall; lavishly
more… true. But I didn’t expect
these years of waiting. One of my
lessons in the waiting, one that I am always forgetting is I need to not be so
easily affected by what happens in the waiting, He has to remind me of this
over and over again…God, can’t I remember that, hold onto that, live that?
Then three words happened, read
in the old and again in the new; Anything, Abraham and Cling.
Anything; a book by Jenny Allen, asks the question what are you
willing to give up to live a better, more fulfilling life concerning your
faith? After reading and thinking and praying I responded, God, I will give up
anything you ask. What are you asking me
to give up? He answered; Brace yourself … and I realized with
tears that He was asking me to give up the promise, not that it couldn’t still
happen but I needed to let go of it, to stop living by it.
Abraham; promised by God that he would have a son, years and years
passed by and in Abraham’s old age God
came true on that promise; Isaac. But
then, God said, take your one and only son, this promise I gave you and take
him, bind him and sacrifice him on the mountain. Take this promise I gave you and let go of
it.
The amazing part of this story is; Brace yourself…Abraham was willing to
sacrifice the promise, for God… anything!
Cling; about God, Sarah Young writes “Though I have brought many pleasures into your life, not one of them is
essential, enjoy my good gifts but do not cling to them.” Abraham chose to be willing to give up his
gift, his promise…I wanted to keep mine.
Three books, three words, one
building on the other, confirming this new big idea; Brace yourself…be willing to sacrifice the promise, do not cling to
it, yes, even the promise, like Abraham. So over and over again, sinking it into my
heart and soul and mind, I realized, my promise, given by God, that good gift,
is my Anything.
I asked again, what will I give up? What gift will I stop clinging to?
I heard myself say; Brace yourself…
Anything.
