Monday 26 October 2015

Brace Yourself

This past summer I read something that was old, I’ve read it a hundred times, more, but this time something new came out of it and I can’t get it out of my head.  Then I read something else, something new and it confirmed the old and I can’t get it out of my head.  These two ideas, rolling around bumping into each other inside of my head, answering a question, turning old hurts into new hope… bits of each of them, slipping down into my heart, like tears slipping down my cheeks; tears falling into my soul. 

I am often learning new lessons, but I just as often lose sight of them in a short time, I don’t want to lose this one and it has become my new mantra, my new lesson of staying alive, living this life as I am, with what I have been given, but also with what will be taken; living my life.

Maybe three years ago, around that time, God gave me a promise and I have been hanging on to it, hoping for it, counting on it, loving it, wanting it, knowing it and trusting God for it…I have it framed and hanging on my wall; lavishly more… true.  But I didn’t expect these years of waiting.  One of my lessons in the waiting, one that I am always forgetting is I need to not be so easily affected by what happens in the waiting, He has to remind me of this over and over again…God, can’t I remember that, hold onto that, live that?

Then three words happened, read in the old and again in the new; Anything, Abraham and Cling.

Anything; a book by Jenny Allen, asks the question what are you willing to give up to live a better, more fulfilling life concerning your faith? After reading and thinking and praying I responded, God, I will give up anything you ask.  What are you asking me to give up?  He answered; Brace yourself … and I realized with tears that He was asking me to give up the promise, not that it couldn’t still happen but I needed to let go of it, to stop living by it.

Abraham; promised by God that he would have a son, years and years passed by  and in Abraham’s old age God came true on that promise; Isaac.  But then, God said, take your one and only son, this promise I gave you and take him, bind him and sacrifice him on the mountain.  Take this promise I gave you and let go of it.

The amazing part of this story is; Brace yourself…Abraham was willing to sacrifice the promise, for God… anything! 

Cling; about God, Sarah Young writes “Though I have brought many pleasures into your life, not one of them is essential, enjoy my good gifts but do not cling to them.”  Abraham chose to be willing to give up his gift, his promise…I wanted to keep mine.

Three books, three words, one building on the other, confirming this new big idea; Brace yourself…be willing to sacrifice the promise, do not cling to it, yes, even the promise, like Abraham.  So over and over again, sinking it into my heart and soul and mind, I realized, my promise, given by God, that good gift, is my Anything.

I asked again, what will I give up?  What gift will I stop clinging to? 

I heard myself say; Brace yourself
Anything.

Saturday 10 October 2015

A Clean Slate


I’ve been working on a project for Pastor Rob; it has been a cleansing to do it…in more ways than one. 

At the beginning of summer Rob did a sermon on brokenness, as the congregation entered into the sanctuary one by one and two by two, some in family groups, they were asked to take a piece of broken tile and hold it in their hands.  As Rob preached, the jagged pieces of tile were rolled around in hands, turned and held lightly, tightly, questioned and for some already understood.  

Rob asked the questions, “what have you been broken for, what struggles do you have, what hurt comes into your situations, what is there in your life that hurts others?” Pens were handed out and each person was asked to write the words of their brokenness on the tile.  

Broken tiles with broken words, sad and sorry and lost and hurtful…some with no words at all, perhaps no words were known for that sin or doubt or failure…some tiles left with the finger prints of their blood sweat and tears.  We are all broken in some way, but the good news is this, we can be restored, we do not need to stay in our brokenness… we can be made new …amazing grace, how sweet the sound.

The tiles were collected into a ceramic vase; it also jagged and cracked magnifying the message of brokenness.

My project was to take the tiles and make them into something beautiful, an image that could reflect the truth of being restored into something new, that we don’t have to stay broken, we are worth restoration.

So a friend and I took the broken tiles and fashioned them around the frame of a mirror, laid them in a pattern, working them together side by side, jagged, sharp, broken edges placed purposely and with intention, knowing that some of these hurts were people we knew, sat beside in the sanctuary, walked alongside through the aisles, sang with, talked with…prayed with.  A church is not filled with perfect people; it is filled with broken people.  God loves that, He is in the business of restoration… isn’t that perfect.

We chose a mirror as our project for two reasons, one, because it’s useful and two, because it is a reminder that we are being molded by God to reflect His glory, created in His image.

When we had all the pieces in place it was my job to grout them in, here is where the cleansing happened.  Anyone who has grouted knows that at the right time a damp cloth is needed to wipe away the grout form the tiles for the beauty to show through, fingers are needed to fill the spaces and to smooth the places that are hard to get at.  Sometimes the more you wipe, the more the tiles are covered, it takes time; drying…and wiping , drying and wiping gently, all gently, over and over wiping the tiles clean, removing every trace of the grout from the face of the tiles.  As I leaned over these tiles, with my fingers sore and hurting, hands working, smoothing, wiping, I understood the hands of God; even though hurting over our jagged edges, He is lovingly, carefully wiping over us, wiping us clean, not all at once but slowly taking His time, the right time, removing all trace of our brokenness, making us new, beautiful...I love that.

“I will forever wipe the slate clean of their sins”
Hebrews 10:17