Weeping With Us

I have had something on my mind, rolling it around and around, wondering about it, ever since I heard the words said.

First of all let me say I found it to be one of the best, clearest explanations given, in regards to this topic.  I liked it. It has sat in my mind.  Although best and like are not quite the right words to use.  In horrific circumstances, under great distress and deep, deep sadness, it was brought up, the words stuck out, explained in the clearest bluntest of ways.  It was not really an explanation; it was said as fact in a sentence.

Words said by Robbie Parker, with tears in his eyes and trying to catch his breath, talking about the man that gunned down his beautiful, 6 year old daughter, Emily, at Stony Hook School…

“Free agency is given to all of us to act and choose to do whatever we want and God can’t take that away from us.  And I know that is something he was given and that is what he chose to do with it.  And I know that God can’t take that away.  I’m not mad, because I have my free agency to make sure that I use this event to do whatever I can to want to make sure that my family, my wife and my daughters are taken care of.”

Free agency.  Free choice.  Free will.

I have heard it explained in regards to faith for Christians, as applied to them and those, over there who apparently choose not to be Christians.  Free will being necessary for developing faith, for believing once and for all, saying, it is your choice to believe, that we are all given free will to believe or not.

 

But now I see that free will is not only given so that we can choose to believe or not, free will is God given from the start, just to be.  Created.  We are created with it that way, from the start, for all of our actions, for what we do with ourselves, not necessarily concerning faith…but with our life, no matter who we are…free will, free agency…it is what we do.

I have been wondering something else; could God not have stepped down into that school yard, there in Connecticut and stopped this mad man from using his free agency? He could have, I believe He could have.  There are many examples to prove that He could, that there were times that He did; Saul was on a killing rampage, using his own free agency… but God.  God stopped him in his tracks.  Stopped.  Him.  In.  His.  Tracks.  There was no time for heart change, for thought change, it just simply, abruptly changed, with the flash of light in the middle of his rampage, because God wanted him for Him, now. 

 

We all know the stories, told by people who experienced this, they say,” it was a miracle! God simply stopped me from craving that…now I do this for God.”  “God took away my need for that drug…now I serve God here.”  “God stopped my thoughts in that area…now I work for God in this way.”   Miracles happen, God can step in, because He wants you now.

 

How long is free agency in our hands, always, sometimes? When does God step in, does He? For whom does He step in? Miracles happening…do they…will He?

What do you think?

I think, sometimes miracles are to be had, to be known and felt, to be seen and talked about, Hallelujah!  I think sometimes miracles are not to be, but we are given the strength to stand firm anyway!  I think sometimes miracles are not going to happen, at least not in the way we want, we will go through hard times, we will suffer and cry out and it will seem for a long time, but grace is given.  I think sometimes, God wants us to fight for what we believe according to our faith, strengthening our faith, proving God true.  And I think that sometimes, sometimes God prepares us to suffer while He stands, seemingly silent, at our side weeping with us.

Yes, at our side weeping with us, watching the trouble happen…just like He did with his only son.

God, weeping with us…

I love that.

“Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God’s plans,

but God is not helpless among the ruins.”

Eric Liddell, Olympian

A Small Stone

“Who knows that He may turn and have pity and leave behind a blessing”  

Joel 2:14

I took my little dog for a walk the other day.  I drove us down to the Marsh just off the highway and we followed the twists and turns around the rocky path there.

 

As we made our way around the path, I noticed the mountains in the distance that stood guard over the prairie, all sharp edged and tipped in snow, I noticed the marsh lands, the tall grasses, dry and pressed down along  the ponds edge, and I noticed the path…and there it was, seemingly placed in my path, just so.

I stopped to look at it, a stone, small, black, with a white line, straight, etched across it. The stone on one side of the line was jagged, broken and on the other side, whole, more rounded and I wondered about it.  I thought how beautiful of God to put it there like that, a small stone, just so, among millions more. 

I carried on with my walk, kicking up the stones, my little dog tugging me on, step by step, me thinking, thinking about the white line drawn across that small stone.  I stopped and turned to go back, I thought it silly; surely I would never find it again lying there amongst a scattered million.  But I turned back, some half dozen steps…more.  And, there it was, just for me waiting, a reminder, reminding me of something, surely something good. 

I picked up that small stone and polished it in my gloved fingers, turning it over and over, and I wondered, a reminder?  Yes…reminding me of God, of my life, my faith and I’m thinking three years; a broken heart, a broken life.  But the line has been drawn and life goes on, more faith, a mended heart and a new life.  That’s my reminder, God is still with me.  I slipped that little stone into my pocket and rolled it over in my fingers.  I loved finding it, holding His reminder in my hand.  I am so glad that I turned to go back for it.

 

I love reminders, reminders that turn me back, that turn me back to see God there.

It sits now on my window sill, a reminder, a blessing of God in the way of a stone...

I love that. 

So, So Good

Are you building a well or constructing a fence?  That was the question he asked.  Easy answer I thought; constructing a fence of course, keeping everything and everyone safe... digging a well, not so much, someone could fall in and never get out, how could that be good?

When I heard the rest of the story, I realized I hadn’t quite thought the question through and I was gently reminded of something my mother-in-law would have said if she had heard my initial response to the asked question... “No. Wrong.”

Funny to remember...quick and short with her answer and usually said slowly as if the person at the receiving end didn’t quite understand english…still makes me laugh.

Yes, truth is I was wrong; truth is you want to be building a well, you want to be building something that will provide a sustaining source to those around you, something that will nourish life, living water. I liked that.

  

Of course I want to build a well; truth is I have built a well.  I have built a well that has sustained my children through the years, a well that they came back to again and again, sometimes taking in sips, sometimes big gulps and sometimes taking in long, long life giving drafts.  Truth is I constructed a few fences too, ones that came down pretty quickly when instead I put my children under God’s care.  I learned early that He cared for my children more than I did, I could trust Him and the fences were not needed.  I liked that too.

My children are grown now, they have children of their own and they are deciding for themselves the wells they build or the fences they construct, but my job is not yet done, there is still something I can do.  I can make sure that my well still flows freely, that there are no clogs building up, that my well still sustains my small families.  I am a grandparent that can still sustain and impress with my well of living water.  Yes, my well is still useful.  I like that.

The next question he asked was wondering what will I impress on my children and my grandchildren this year.  And my heart thought, what will I take out from the depths of my well to share with my families to let them know that my well is still good, that living water is still flowing there telling that God is so good…so, so good.

For 2013, from my well, found in a song from Psalm 103...kept there to be sipped slowly, turned and tasted, 10,000 reasons to bless my soul,

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

let me be singing when the evening comes.

This is what I will impress on my children and my grandchildren, each day is new, He is my hope and He is their hope as well…whatever may pass and whatever lies before them...He is good.  So, so good.

I love that