Echoing Angels

I love Christmas!  I love the time with my friends and my family.  I love the decorating and the lights.  I love finding the best gift and the giving of it.  I love the singing and listening to the music.

I love it when I find a new Christmas song, one I haven’t heard before or one that has a message that I haven’t taken in before.  I have a hard time giving up my Christmas songs once Christmas day is over, I don’t really want to listen to my ‘other’ time music, I love my Christmas time music. Kenny and Dolly, the Carpenters, Elvis and Mr Buble…there is more of course, I love Christmas music!

I found a new song this Christmas by a singer whom I have appreciated for ‘other’ time music.  Rob Thomas wrote this song for a time when his world had been facing a battle, war really.  It was written for New York and it is called “A New York City Christmas”  Well, we all know the story of what happened in New York, not that long ago.  I found the message of this song entirely fitting for any city, any town, any streets where people walk.  Sometimes our streets are heavy with a sadness, we feel beaten and broken.  We all have stories filling our hearts and minds, stories of the things that have happened to us. Stories that affect ourselves but that also affect the people around us, who in turn take it to the streets of their towns, into their shops and businesses.  Some of the stories are sad, some of them are traumatic and are filled with pain and death.  I have learned that everyone has a story, that even though my heart  is heavy with my story , the person walking just behind me or just in front of me has a heaviness too.  The person who gets into the elevator with me, the one who walks the halls of the hospital going in the other direction from me, the one who is stopped at the red light alongside me, the one who is having coffee at the table across from me.

Sometimes we are beaten and broken just like some of the streets and sidewalks in our city.

In our beaten and broken state, we have this amazing line we can call on, His line is always open, and His angels are always close by.  An angel came to Mary and to Joseph.  An angel came to Elizabeth, to Peter and to Jacob, to Hagar…there are too many to mention, but be assured they come, sent by Him to us.  They come to offer courage, comfort, peace, strength and they come to confirm our faith in Him.

“So call on your angels,  
you’re beaten and broken, 
it’s time that we mended…
Let our mercy be the gifts we lay…
Celebrate each and every day
Yeah, I’m sending you  a merry New York Christmas 
and a prayer for peace on earth within our time.  
Hear the sidewalk angels echo Hallelujah.  
We understand them, now more than ever.  
Call on your angels, come down to the city, let’s crowd around the big tree, 
all you strangers who know me, 
bring your compassion, 
bring your forgiveness, 
Lord, how we need it 
on this New York City Christmas”

These are some of the words, put in the name of your town, your street and listen...

Do you hear the angels echo Hallelujah?

Mary did you know?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?

This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little Baby you've kissed the face of God?

The blind will see.

The deaf will hear.

The dead will live again.

The lame will leap.

The dumb will speak

the praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great I Am.

So Beautiful!  Written by Mark Lowry along with Buddy Greene.  One of my favorite versions is sung by Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd.  Give yourself another Christmas present and listen to the power of the music and hear the words...

Merry Christmas...God bless us, everyone.

The Dancing Man

“The mountains and hills will burst into song before you and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”

Isaiah 55:12

“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.”

One of the books I read to my girls when they were little was called 'The Dancing Man'  I loved that book, maybe more than they did. It is a story of a little boy who wants some joy in his life. He can see that the world around him is dancing, the trees sway and the clouds dance in the sky, but he didn't know that joy for himself, he wanted it, he waited for it. One day, an old man dances up to him and offers him a gift...

“I am the dancing man,” he said, “and I have a gift for you.”

The little boy takes the gift and soon he is dancing like the old man.  He shares his gift with others and soon they know his joy too.

This story is actually a parable, originating from South Africa.  It tells the story that life is a gift from God.

A gift from God, peace, joy and ...dancing.

Last night I went to my granddaughters dance recital, Hadley, who is three, soon to be turning four, so sweet.  The recital was absolutely beautiful, all the dancers, all the joy.  Of course, her performance was the sweetest, well, all the dancers were sweet and beautiful. This recital was an early Christmas gift, a gift of dancing, a gift of joy. 

Hadley loves to sing and dance and just twirl, she’s teaching it to her sister, Presley.  Such a joy to watch them dancing, sharing their little gifts with each other, with us...joy, laughter, dancing.  Both of them are a gift, gifts from God.  My other granddaughters, Riley and Gracie dance too, they also had their recital, but it was very far away, I know they are just as sweet, I've seen them practicing, twirling, just beautiful, more gifts from God.

God has a gift for all of us, it is wound up in Christmas, it is His Son, the reason we celebrate at this season.   His Son has a gift for us, it is His life, for us. 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"

John 3:16

What an amazing gift, isn't it cause to burst into song and to clap our hands, to go out in joy ...dancing.

"I Am the Dancing Man," he said, "and I have a gift for you."

Pearls on a String

"Suddenly a great company of of the Heavenly Host appeared with the angel praising God and saying 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests.' "

Unspeakable joy!

"When the angels had left them and gone into Heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.' "

This morning in church as another candle was lit, we celebrated the third advent, the advent of joy, unspeakable joy!

These last two years have been a time of heaviness for me, but in it all I have known joy. I know it's hard to believe but I have seen the grace of God, the glory of it, the joy of it...unspeakable joy. Even in Johns death, because of it, because of his stand and his courage, I have learned more, felt more, known more of God and as you may have noticed, I can not stop talking about it.

Years ago, in a bible study, we learned the word 'sumballo.' It is the practice of casting many things together, combining them as one, as if to string pearls on a string, treasures.

Treasures, gained and confirmed over these past 2 years, combined as one, my pearls, cast on a string...

God's Grace ~ love ~ faith and love that spring from hope ~ where my heart is ~ stored up for me in heaven ~ He is my treasure ~ spiritual wisdom and understanding ~ a life worthy ~ stacking memories like stones in the river ~ pleasing Him ~ growing in the knowledge of Him ~ being strengthened to have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks ~ courage ~ strength ~ sharing in the inheritance ~ rooted and built up ~ overflowing with thankfulness ~ setting my mind on things above ~ being renewed in knowledge ~ clothing myself with compassion ~ kindness ~ humility ~ gentleness and patience ~ bearing with one another ~ showing grace ~ all in the name of Christ ~ being watchful ~ devoted to prayer ~ proclaiming the mystery of Christ ~ clearly ~ being wise ~ making the most of every opportunity ~ full of grace ~ seasoned with salt ~ His faithfulness ~ my faith ~ He has His trust in me ~ He is for me, who can be against me ~ He wants to do me a favor ~ His favor rests ~ rest in Him ~ joy ~ Joy ~ unspeakable joy.

From my treasure to ours, the reason for Christmas, Christ, our King...

"When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child. And all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them."

Unspeakable joy!

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

...like pearls on a string.

Like a Winter Snow

I have a special friend, though we are apart in age, some have said to me that we are cut from the same cloth, her and I. It could be we are, does God cut from cloth? Threads maybe, He weaves them together. The bible talks of threads often, in many ways, connecting to one another, braided together, knit together, woven, tied…God’s tapestries.

Well, my friend and I have many threads in common, her birthday is one day off from mine, her husband's birthday is one day off from my husband's. Her daughter was born in the same month as my daughter. My daughter, Dana, it was her birthday yesterday, so beautiful.

My daughter has been touched by my friend, it seems they are soul mates and I have been touched by her daughter, I was close by, the year she was born, she has always been sweet, like my daughter...they may be cut from the same cloth.

Connecting threads. Threads of the same colour, different tapestries, hers and mine. Both beautifully threaded with accomplishments and with disappointments. Both woven with joy and with loss. Both interwoven with faith, hope and love.

On Sunday morning my friend's daughter sang a song in church that touched me. It was beautiful. She sang it quiet, soft and slow.

This song, I’ve heard it before, I have the words written down, I know them. A song written by Audrey Assad, called ‘Winter Snow'. A beautiful song that sings the story of Christ coming to earth, to us. He could have come like a mighty storm, a hurricane but He didn’t, He came in like a winter snow. Quiet and soft and slow.

It reminds me of my husband, John. He was a man’s man, tough and strong. Sometimes his temper got the better of him, he wasn’t one to sit by quietly when something wasn’t going his way. Sometimes though, he was. Once, when his employee wasn’t responding very well at a job site, I asked him, why aren’t you saying something? He answered me, “ Bud, sometimes, you just have to eat it.” Just sit by. That comment surprised me. I took it in and I try to remember that message…just sit by.

This last ‘something’ that he went through,was definitely not going his way and his choice was to sit by quietly. He could have gone out like a hurricane, all mad but he didn’t. He left us in November, in a whisper, all quiet, like a winter snow.

“When you get close enough and quiet enough, He will whisper a secret to your heart and it will change your life. In that moment all your fears will be gone.”

Stormie Omartian

The Herdmans

I went to a play last night put on by Act Theater, many of the children from Arnold Church were involved in it. It was the first Christmas event I attended this year, well aside from the 1st Advent last sunday. The MC told us that the children had all done such a good job of learning their parts, in fact, they were so good we would all be fully taken in by it.

We were.

It was the best Christmas pageant ever! The play was based on a book by Barbara Robinson written in 1972, at that time the reviews said this book was bound to be a classic...it is.

The play was called "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and as I said, it was, it was funny and so true. It tells the story of a family of kids, the Herdmans and how they were about to ruin the Church play, to make it the worst Christmas play ever! The Narrator, one of the main characters, said "The Herdmans were absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world!"

The Herdmans, they were the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, dirty ruffians, who ended up learning about Jesus. They didn't ruin the church play, somehow they made the Christmas play better.

The Herdmans...kind of reminds me of the shepherds.

The shepherds, the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, that's what the people in those days thought. Dirty ruffians, who went looking for Jesus. They too make the Christmas story better.

John the Baptist was a ruffian, at least he was described as one, he dressed in clothes made of camel hair, he wandered in the desert, he ate locusts and wild honey, yet he prepared the way for Jesus, he said there is one coming after me who is better.

The Herdmans, the shepherds and John the Baptist, ruffians who learned about Jesus, who went looking for Him and who prepared the way for Him.

This sunday is the 2nd Advent a reminder for us to learn more about Jesus, to look for Him... to prepare for Him...

"And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

Celebrating

Finally!

Yes, I have finally finished reading Bonhoeffer! My daughter said I should celebrate, she said I should find a good German restaurant and go out for dinner...maybe I will. We have been doing a lot of celebrating this past month, birthdays...13 altogether in my family, 4 of them were my grandchildren. Such fun, great celebrations!

Celebrating is good, we are about to celebrate the birth of Christ and we are just now coming to the first advent, a Sunday of expectation and hope. The book I just finished reading was a powerful story about an amazing man in horrible times, in these times, there was not much time for celebrating yet through it all Dietrich Bonhoeffer (as well as many men and women around him) never gave up hope in his faith or in his God. The last chapter of this book is taken with this scripture, 2 Chronicles 20:12,

"We know not what to do, but our eyes are upon You."

Those were suffering times but it has not been the only time of people struggling in fear, people feeling without hope, yet looking for it, expecting it.

Nehemiah had hope in God, he wanted to do something, he prays under his breath and approaches the king. Hoping.

Esther knows not what to do but she asks for prayer and fasting and then enters the presence of the king. Hoping. Trusting.

Jehosophat knows not what to do but he calls on his God "...our eyes are upon You." Hoping. Trusting. Expecting God.

These too, are the sentiments we cry out often enough, we know not what to do, but here is our hope, found just a few verses down in verse 15,

"... for the battle is not yours, but Gods."

What a great and awesome hope we have, God belongs to us and the battle belongs to Him. Hoping for the peace only He can give and expecting Him to be with us through all of our struggles. Hope and expectation, this sunday, the first advent of the Christmas season...may we keep our eyes on Him.

"While in God confiding I cannot but rejoice."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

the deepest secret

I came across this poem in a book I read once, it's a poem about love and the deepness of it, how we are never left without it, a promise for a new hope and a new life, words from the heart. I shared it at our Ladies Tea in April...here it is again, along with some other words that I shared that night...

i carry your heart with me by e e cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) I am never without it (anywhere

i go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want

no world (for beatuiful, you are my world...my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart).

This is how it is when you lose someone, no matter how it happens, whether by distance or by death, but even with this loss...comes the hope of love...I have felt this loss and the hope that comes with this kind of love.

Near the end of 1973 I became a wife and started a new life with my husband. We never were much for sweet talk or using sweet heart names. It was always Bud, I was his and he was mine. In the last few years we started using 'Honey'...but mostly for a loving reprimand or as a tease.

We were a team, for 36 years in marriage, loving life and sometimes fighting life. Often when we were working together at some job that he had in mind to get done, my eyes would say to him "Really?" and he'd look back at me, his eyes saying "Yes, just do it." We got a lot of things done that way.

Two years ago, my Buddy lost his fight on this earth, God had another job in mind for him...a new life with Him.

On that last night, my Buddy was hooked up with Iv's, oxygen hoses and draining tubes. He was connected to monitors that read his heart rate, his blood pressure and measured his oxygen levels. He lay in a bed fitted with special mattresses, attached to equipment that seemed overpowering, overwhelming. He wanted me to move his bed back so that maybe it would give length to one of his hoses. I tried not to let him see, but he saw my eyes say "really?" and then, I saw his eyes say "yes, just do it."

I did it, it was the last job we did together...it was an honor and a blessing to have shared his last days and to have witnessed the dignity and grace he fought his battle with. It is a new life for him, he is walking with Christ. And despite the loss it is a new life for me...

Now I am working at little jobs with my grandchildren, 10 little buddies who look back at me with the eyes of their Papa. And life goes on.

I slept beside him that night, this night, 2 years ago, the first time in a month, the last time forever...

i carry his heart with me... i carry it in my heart.

Whispers of love

Christmas is just around the corner and today I ordered a present for each of my little families, each one the same, a book, the same book. I can hardly wait to see them and have my fingers turn through their pages. I love new books and I love to give them as gifts. John and I made it a tradition to give books at Christmas. Sometimes there was a different book for each one, a book with a special message just for them or sometimes it was a book to share. Always, there was a little something extra inside the pages.

I was always the one to do the shopping but the one year I was able to talk John into coming with me...that was a surprise! I wanted to pick out big shiny exciting books but Papa wanted simple ones...a small book. "This one " he said. It was a small book, on the cover was a red barn with farm animals gathered around it. It was called "The Big Red Barn" by Margaret Wise Brown. A small book with a big message, as it happened, this was the last Christmas that Papa was with us. This special book remains as a reminder to my little families that Papa loved them in a special simple way. Everytime we look through it's pages we find Papa and a whisper of his love for us.

This new book that I just ordered is also a whisper of love. It is called "The Jesus Story Book Bible". It looks amazing. On the cover just under the title are the most beautiful words in the loveliest font... "every story whispers His name" I love that. Beautifully simple.

Simple. Sometimes we forget the simplicity of the book we base our faith on, we get caught up in the bigness of it, we want it to be big. We look for the excitement of it, we want to feel it. We want the big shiny miracles, we want to be part of it! We forget that the Bible"...isn't mainly about you and what you should be doing. It's about God and what He has done. Amen."

The Bible is a beautifully simple book, it tells the story of Christ in the new testament and in the old testament and ...every story whispers His name.

This changes everything.

Yes, I'm still reading Bonhoeffer, soon and very soon I will be done...maybe. I'm trying to take everything in, I am always finding something. Today the words I found were connected to both bible studies I am doing, they speak to making adjustments and giving up all. Here are Bonhoeffer's words,

"Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God - the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God."

What amazing words, to make your whole life an answer to the question and call of God...

The book by Blackaby this past week has been talking about adjustments, making adjustments to our life, he says "you cannot stay where you are and go with God at the same time" He talks about Elisha, Noah, Abram, Moses, David, Amos, Jonah, Peter, James, John and Matthew and Saul. They all had to leave something, they had to give up all they knew to continue with God. Responsible men who made major adjustments to the call of God.

The other book I am studying talks about Paul in Prison, Paul says, "for me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." In prison or out of prison, from the time he had to make his major adjustment, he makes it plain that his whole life is an answer to the question and call of God.

Right now I am still waiting, waiting to see what God is calling me to do, what He is preparing me for, but, as soon as I hear the call I'm looking forward to making the adjustments.

I have just come out of a major adjustment. I gave up my husband, I gave him to God. He made a major adjustment too. He gave up everything he knew to go with God... I was there the day he said "This changes everything." His final stand was not his reason, but obedience, through God's grace he made the adjustment...and went with God. I love that, I love knowing that.

I love knowing this, even Jesus had to make adjustments. Jesus gave up all riches and His position in Heaven to come to this earth, to be poor and to suffer...

"He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

2 Corinthians 8:9

I am rich, I know to whom I belong...God...and this changes everything.

Ruin is a gift

Last night I watched the movie Eat,Pray,Love. Julia Roberts plays the main character, a woman who is in trouble with her marriage. At her lowest point she introduces herself to God and prays "God, nice to finally meet you" then through her tears she cries out "I am in deep trouble, tell me what to do." Her marriage is over, her life is in ruins. It is a story of how she is able to find a way to rebuild her life...to restore the ruins.

Restoring the ruins...it is a process.

Last year we did a Beth Moore study called Breaking Free. It is a study on how we put ourselves in bondage, either by our ways of thinking, our expectations or our beliefs. We suffer with the lies we believe, the prejudice shown to us, or by the faults and hurts of family ties. Family ties, whether they lie in a bad marriage or in hurts done to us by other family members. Some of the hurts are in being lost, loss and even death. All hurts can be ruinous. Some of the hurts are recent, but some of the hurts have happened long ago, they are ancient, old ruins. What we learned in this study is that we need to think of these ruins in new ways, to have the "courage to extract the precious from the worthless"...to transform the ruins.

Transforming the ruins...I'm in the process.

In the movie, Julia's character visits the old ruins in Rome and she realizes how amazing it is that no matter what disasters had befallen the ancient buildings they keep on being transformed to a new beauty. While I'm not sure I can accept everything this movie tells, there is this that stood out to me..."Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

Ruin is a gift, a mercy of God, one of His reminders. If it were not for the ruin, we would not see the need to transform and if we could change the way we look at the ruin, we could regain our beauty...then we could love ourselves and in turn we could learn to love again, despite the ruins...because of the ruins.

"...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair...

They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generations.

Isaiah 61:3-4

From the ruins...have the courage to extract the precious from the worthless.

Joyful circumstances

I got caught this week doing a few things that I shouldn't have done, and I had to pay the price.

First, I got caught speeding. The officer came around to my car and asked for my registration and drivers liscence, then came back and gave me the ticket...57 in a 30... $253.00! When she walked away I said "thank-you" ...grrr.

Earlier, that morning I had been to the dentist with an abscess. When my dentist had worked on that tooth a long time ago he told me that I needed to be careful around that area. I guess I didn't floss properly and now he is saying that I need a root canal!

Later that evening, I ran the water for a bath. I put my Iphone and my book (my bible study book) on the ledge of the bathtub. My dog came by and tipped everything into the water! Yikes! A wet Iphone! What could possibly be worse! Well, besides a speeding ticket and a root canal?!

As I reflected, my whole day of trouble reminded me of the bible study lesson we are doing. Paul is in chains, shackled to a guard, imprisoned...yet he is praising God. He was being joyful in his circumstances, his horrible circumstances and he hadn't even done anything wrong!

I was not in chains but I certainly did some wrong things. I could have put myself in bondage with a suffering, 'poor me' attitude. But I didn't, I couldn't. Worse things could have happened! Hard lessons learned...God saved me, despite my errors in judgement and I'm thankful for that.

This weeks bible study lesson says, "to experience the power of peace in every situation, begin with thanksgiving. Did you know that the giving of thanks is willful? It is a decision on our part. And giving thanks is also commanded by God. His word tells us to give thanks always and for all things in everything and evermore. And the decision to do just that - to give thanks, no matter what- has a powerful effect on our attitude...and our peace."

It's not that He wanted me to suffer, but he wants me to learn something...I'm thankful I didn't hurt anyone speeding through a playground, I'm thankful for my dentist, I'm thankful that my Iphone is made well enough that it is still working. I'm thankful for my dog, I love him. And I am thankful for my God who is in the business of saving. I Love Him.

" Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The Princess and the happy ending

When I was in Ontario, visiting my grandchildren there, I had many opportunities to read stories. My oldest granddaughter, who is soon turning 7, loves to read, so I had many stories read to me as well.

What a pleasure listening to the stories unfold, told in the voice of my own little princess. Many of them were about girls who were looking for a princess or wanting to be one or found out they were one.

Such adventures, but as we read, we discovered something...every girl can be a princess. Inside every girl there is a princess.

From the stories we read, we found out that there are three things that can determine if you are a true princess, kindness to others, generosity to the poor and beauty...on the inside. How wonderful to know that by showing kindness, being generous and letting our beauty shine we can be a princess in our own right. There is no one who can take away this truth. But, like it happens in some stories, you may think that there are those who can make you feel unworthy or inferior...some 'mean step-mother'' or a 'wicked queen' or an 'evil king'.

Now, another lesson we learned from our stories was that 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. " a quote from 'Barbie Princess Charm School'. I love that, a lesson from Barbie...no one can make you feel less than you are. What a concept, no one can make me feel less than I am!

The Bible says we are royalty with the King...I am remembering a study we did on Tamar. Tamar was treated badly by Amnon, very badly...raped and then tossed aside, forgotten. Apparently, she lived the rest of her life feeling unworthy and believed the lie that Amnon left her with. The truth is no action by Amnon could change her bloodline, she was the daughter of a king. As are we, we are joint heirs with Christ, we are royalty. If we are not royalty, He is not King.

"The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord. All glorious is the princess within her chamber; her gown is interwoven with gold. In embroidered garments she is led to the King; her companions follow her. They are led in with joy and gladness; they enter the palace of the King." Psalm 45 : 11-15

The truth is I am His princess and He is enthralled by my beauty! No one can take that from me...or from you...our story does have a happy ending.

Now I know his name

"Christ has no body now but yours, no hands, no feet on earth but yours,

yours are the eyes with which He looks compassion on this world,

yours are the feet He walks to do good, yours are the hands with which

He blesses all the world."

Saint Teresa of Avila

Our church was highly motivated about a month ago to help a family in Arnold. It was very amazing to watch the people here step forward to be willing workers to a family in need. It's not that this family needed money or food, they just needed a hand. A helping hand to show support, love, care, compassion and to help them stand...to just stand.

They were overcome with the care of their son, only 18, who was suffering with cancer, a rare kind.

The folks here were the eyes of Christ and saw the need. They became the hands and feet of Jesus, many of them on their knees. They gathered together to work in the family's blueberry fields to pull weeds and clean the fields. They were a blessing to that family and to those who watched and heard the story...blessings in this small part of our world, the hands and feet of Jesus.

At the time I didn't know the boy but I felt for him and his family, I knew how their hearts felt...I know how their hearts feel still.

Later, when I saw his picture, I was surprised to see that I had spoken with him. He was a young man that I'd had a conversation with at the cancer agency, one morning on my shift there. He had a calmness about him, even though he was talking about scary treatments. He had made an impression on me, I thought he was very brave and very wise. I remember watching the back of him as he made his way down the hall and out the door...now I know his name.

His name was Kody, he lost his battle with cancer October 8, 2011

Here I Am

"Here I Am, I stand at the door and knock if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me." Revelation 3 :20

I was interested by a new thought when I read this verse, well an old thought really, I've studied this verse before. I'm sure we all have at sometime, it is a popular verse. But I think that the point of it is often lost or forgotten, maybe just taken for granted. Somehow, we generally think that we are the one that is 'doing' , you know, going to the door listening and then there is God, calling out 'Here I Am'. In fact, it is God who comes to the door first. He is the one who is 'doing'. It is not by what we do that He comes to the door. He comes to the door and then we do something.

This week in our study, we were asked the question "Who loved first, we or God?" Then, Blackaby goes on to add "God always takes the initiative to establish a love relationship with me."

God's initiative... not mine.

John 15:16 says "You did not choose me but I chose you" and Phillipians 2:13 says "It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose" and Deuteronomy 30:6 "The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love Him with all your heart and with all your soul and live."

He loved first. What a relief really, that it is not by what I do that God comes, how amazing that He has chosen me, that He has loved me so much that He sent His own son to the cross. Yes, it is God who is the one 'doing'.

It is He who lets us know that He is there..."Here I Am".

Dietrich Bonhoeffer...yes I'm still reading that book...calls it 'being grasped by God'. He expresses the idea " (about philosophy) ...in which man himself tried to reach heaven or truth or God but theology begins and ends with faith in Christ who reveals himself to man, apart from such revelation there could be no such thing as truth. Thus the philosopher as well as the theologian who operates on the philosophers assumptions - chases his own tail and gazes at his own navel. He cannot break out of that cycle but God can break in."

Have you been grasped by God or are you chasing your own tail? Stop 'doing' for "Here I Am"...He is knocking at the door.

Come to the table

I've been in Ontario for the last week or so, the weather has been amazingly beautiful!

I've heard it said that Canada is God's Country, after seeing this part of the country, I really do believe it's true!

While I've been here, I've been to Niagra Falls, seen the CN Tower in Toronto and driven into the fields of Perth County. All of it, under beautiful, clear blue skies! All of it spectacular and amazing!

In Perth County, close to where Devon lives, we went to a particular field that had been prepared for a specific purpose, to provide for the hungry. Over 120 combines gathered to harvest over 160 acres of soy beans and they did it in 11 minutes and 43 seconds! They were aiming for a world record. They were wanting to feed the hungry. It was absolutely amazing to watch...a powerful message!

The event was in partnership with Canadian Food Grains Bank, an agency with over 20,000 Canadian churches connected to it, but organized by this community of farmers and their local churches, they called it " 'Harvest for Hunger' ...come to the table"

Harvesting for the hungry. Men and women coming together to harvest and share their abundance with others in the world...God's world...powerful machines, an abundant crop and willing workers. It was amazing to witness and to join in where God was working!

" Celebrate the feast of Harvest with the first fruits of the crops you sow in your field, celebrate the feast of ingathering at the end of the year when you gather in your crops from the field."

Exodus 26:16

How appropriate, as the following weekend we celebrated Thanks-Giving, where we all came to the table and shared a meal with the people we love, giving thanks to a God who loves us...abundantly!

Together we can accomplish what no one person can do alone...come to the table.

Leave and go...

These are the words that God spoke to Abram "Leave your country, your people and your fathers household and go to the land I will show you."

Specific and simple. Vague but sure. Frightening and yet, somehow safe.

Frightening in the way that God is asking Abram to leave everything that he knows, everything that he holds dear, everything that he has hold to, his home, his people, his future...very frightening.

Yet, safe. Safe in the way that God is confirming that He will be there showing Abram the way '...I will show you.'

So, Abram left.

Would I have left?' Would I think God would be asking me to leave? I am not so sure. My view point has been and maybe still is, wait and see. If God really wants me to do something, maybe I'll just wait and see, surely he will find some way to convince me if He really wants me to obey. He will ask me again.

I weigh everything, maybe too much. Maybe I need to listen and just do it... to look around me and listen to what God is asking me to do. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do listen and just do it...sometimes too often...without weighing.

I wish It would be simple. I wish I would always do the right thing, the thing that God was asking of me. I also wish that what He was asking of me was simple, like leave and go. Simple. I wish that what He would be asking me would be safe.

Well one thing I do know is that wishing is of no use when it comes to obeying God, and having it simply laid out is not going to happen, it is simply going to be step by step, day by day...

Leave and go ...He will show me.

It depends on you

"I wish that we could find a way to look the other way,
be careful of the things we do and watch the things we say

and maybe then we'd get somewhere we've never been before."

Jim Cuddy ...in a song 'Already Gone'

I've been reading 'BONHOEFFER Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy' by Eric Metaxas. I haven't gotten too far in the book even tho I started it in April, I got sidetracked by an accident my Mom had and I just couldn't get back into it, until now. My interest was piqued after watching Fidler on The Roof. The Jews of that time, the Russian Revolution, were devastated by the rebels as well as the soldiers, they were called 'Christ haters'. Families were torn apart, scattered around the world looking for safety. The same thing happened to our Mennonite ancestors during these same days, though for slightly different reasons, devastated just the same. My sister has just finished reading a series of books relating the things that happened to the Mennonite people during that time, how their families were also separated, torn apart, murdered, scattered to other parts of the world. Our last few generations have not known this type of devastation, at least not with the Mennonites, other peoples in certain countries have definately been affected by torturous uprisings, horrible wars, murder, and have scattered to safe havens, safe countries... they have absolutely known devastation...still are.

Devastation, it's a hard word, it hurts absolutely, yet it can happen in simpler ways.

In the book I'm reading I came across this, "In the Bonhoeffer family one learnt to think before asking a question or making a remark. It was embarrassing to see their father raise his left eyebrow inquiringly. It was a relief when this was accompanied by a kindly smile, but it was absolutely devastating when his expression remained serious..."

Absolutely devastating. Have you ever felt absolutely devastated by someones words, or by their actions towards you or others? Have you ever absolutely devastated another?

Romans 12:9-18 speaks to this...

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves...bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another...if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone"

As far as it depends on you...be careful of the things you do and watch the things you say.

Peace

I just had my pond re-designed.

For the four years that I've lived here, my 'water feature' has never worked properly, it could only be turned on for short times in a day and for the last two years it hasn't worked at all. The pump that propelled the waterfall often gave a power surge to the electrical box causing an overload and tripping several of the breakers, needless to say there would be a loss of power to many of my household appliances. On the times that it did work the waterfall was more like Niagra Falls, loud, fast and furious...which would inevitably lead to the said electrical failure! Hardly the 'peaceful' environment a backyard water feature should be producing. So, I just had my pond re-designed. It really is peaceful now, a trickling waterfall over an assortment of river rocks and pebbles, an oasis really. It's what I wanted, a beautiful sense of peace right in my own back yard.

Peace, it's what we all want. Peace from our everyday crazy, noisy, busy, stress full, over filled lives. Peace, we look for it, yearn for it, seek it...we need it. The book I am reading right now "Experiencing God's Peace" by Elizabeth George says this,

"There are many means by which we try to bring about the peace our souls long for. We purchase tranquil paintings meant to evoke a sense of peace. We buy music that can help us relax. In home gardens, shopping malls and in parks we build waterfalls, pools, ponds and fountains to summon up peace. We equate early mornings and evenings with peace...but our wonderful God has provided real peace for us..."

Even in our busy, everyday lives, through our troubles, because we will have troubles, we can find our peace in Him. As we look to Him, we will experience the peace we long for.

If you were to come to my house, we'd sit out by the pond, sip a cup of tea and talk about the book I'm reading...ahh, peace.

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn His face toward you

and give you peace."

Numbers 6:24

On the Other Hand

"It is because of our traditions that we keep our balance

and because of our traditions, every one of us knows

who he is and what God expects him to do."        

Reb Tevya

On sunday morning in sunday school class we talked about how Christians live within their culture, we will be talking about this for the next few weeks, it is going to be thought provoking. One of the thoughts was that we tend to rate ourselves as Christians by what we don't do rather than who we are. That seems to be an odd balance, we need to know who we are.

I watched Fiddler on the Roof Saturday night, Reb Tevya, the Papa is the main character. He knows who he is. He is always talking to God, he brings Him into the picture of his life with every thought, decision and event that happens to him. I love that. He tells God everything, he questions Him, he rejoices in Him and he shares His word with others, "as the Good Book says..." He accepts God's plan, for himself, for his family, weighing everything with his tradition in mind and within his changing culture. 'On one hand' he weighs the cons and 'On the other hand' he weighs the pros. His decisions were made this way, by balance.

At one point in the story, one of his daughters chooses to be married outside of their faith, after weighing the pros and cons Reb Tevya cries out "I cannot bend that far...I will break!" For just a moment he softens and says "on the other hand..." but, cries out "No! There is no other hand!"

Tradition, culture, faith, giving permission, giving blessings, loving God, loving others, acceptance. On one hand, there will always be those times when we cannot bend, when we should not bend.

But, on the other hand...

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:2

Relentless

I was speaking with my niece a week or so ago and she said something to me that has stuck with me. In particular it was a word she used. She was relating to me the story of a character that she was portraying in an opera production in Banff this summer called 'Lillian Alling'. Her character, Lillian, was on an adventure and was being followed by a friend, she went on to say that this friend was always there to help her, to save her, he was relentless in being there, for her...

relentless. It was a beautiful picture with a powerful message.

Relentless.

I want a friend like that. Someone who cares about what happens to me, someone who wants to help me through every trouble that I find myself in, someone who will never give up on wanting to be there, for me.

Relentless.

God wants a friend like that. He wants us to be relentless in pursuing Him, no matter our circumstances. He wants us to need Him. He wants us to never give up on being there, with Him.

On Sunday morning we heard a beautiful message from Jean (who by the way is relentless in her search to learn more of God) she talked about the story of David fleeing into the desert, fleeing from Absalom his son. What a picture she painted, David barefoot and weeping, in the desert, his people trailing behind him, sharing his pain. I could see his tears and feel his suffering...

I have been there, barefoot and weeping in the desert, and my people have trailed along with me sharing my pain. But God, God has been relentless in being there, with me.

Relentless. A beautiful and powerful picture. God.

And so it all begins

It's time to get started and I think everyone is so excited to get going!

September is such a great time of year! After having summertime to enjoy our running here and there with family, visiting with friends over cold drinks and good food, stretched out on lawn chairs reading great books , sleeping in or sleeping out, it is time to get back to schedules, organization and regular life!

Ahh regular life, I love it.

Regular life, when everyone's time is laid out for that scheduled something, perfect.

At ACC there is no exception, and we are set to go.

For the ladies we have 2 days to plug into

Ladies Time Out

Tuesdays from 9:30 - 11:30

Friendship, Bible study and Prayer for Women of all ages.

(child care provided free of charge for your children )

Starting Tuesday September 20th in the Church basement.

We are convinced that God has big plans for us and anticipate

good things as we dive into God's word together!

We'll be studying through Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby

Prime Time

Thursdays at 1:00

For Women in their prime, empty-nesters who are active in their lives

enjoying what God has laid out for them. Women who are looking to

enhance their relationships with God and each other.

Come and join us for good conversation, a good cup of coffee and a good book.

Starting Thursday September 15th at the Wired Monk near Whatcom road,

for our first meeting... good coffee and good conversation.

We'll be studying Experiencing God's Peace by Elizabeth George

This fall is going to be great! See you somewhere for a scheduled something...perfect!

Summer ends

Taking you for a walk down to the pasture where I live, to see the sheep...before summer ends

time for a little rest, then back to the bridge taking the path home.

Thanks for the visit. My next post will be to let you know what is happening here for the ladies at ACC... take a peek and then join us if you can. We'd love to have you.

"May the Lord direct your heart into God's Love and Christ's perseverance."

2 Thessalonians 2:16

Outstanding

And so it all begins...

Two of my grandsons started school this week, Ivan in Kindergarten and Kenzie in Pre K. Their mothers have been worried because the one has been a little shy and unsure, although he proved to be very good and very brave! He didn't look around to see where mommy was standing, he had friends to help him, they knew what to do and where to go.

Yes, Ivan was outstanding!

The other has been known to bolt looking for something else to do.

When I was out watching one of Kenzie's soccer games, I asked his coach if there were others like him, she replied, "we're hoping there's just one." In the end I was afraid to watch, I went to catch Gracie's game instead...safer I thought.

Last year when the up and coming Pre-K's were to go for a practice run at taking in the experience of going to school, Kenzie decided his experience would be outstanding. On the bus Riley had given him a few instructions. I'm pretty sure he listened, because he's a good listener, the trouble is he doesn't always apply what he hears. When the bus stopped at the school, all the children got off, yes, even Kenzie, only he didn't go to the school. He made a run out to left field, the big boys were out there, and he was going with them. Kindergarten was out, he was out standing with the big boys.

When they finally did get him to the classroom, I'm pretty sure he only made one more attempt at running, I'm not sure where they found him.

So far, this year, he hasn't made a run for it...but then he's just finished the first day...well, the bus hasn't brought him home yet. We hope he's still on it.

Because I

"I know His voice...but He knows me. He knows my downside and even the darker bits I'd never divulge, in person or in print. He inscribes my name on the palm of His hand, saves my tears in a bottle and rightly numbers the hairs on my head...God answered my 'why me?' with His profoundly simple 'Because I' ...and that has to be enough."

I wish I could put words on paper that come out like that. The Beautiful Ache by Leigh McLeroy, she writes words that are on the tip of my tongue.

"Who doesn't hope to hear a word from heaven? Who doesn't wish that a knowing voice would whisper truth or comfort or direction or encouragement when it is needed most. We long to hear from God. We want to know He's with us. We pine for a sign or a sound or some well placed punctuation that says He's nearer than we can tell. That He sees. He Knows. But how do you learn to listen to the wind?"

1 Kings 19:11-13 tells the story of the wind.

Where is God?

Be still.

He is in a gentle whisper.

A still small voice.

Go out and stand in His presence.

And then when you ask Him, 'Why me?' you will hear His profound 'Because I'

...and it will be enough.

All we are we are

Everyday is the start of something beautiful...

I love that. One of my favorite movies to watch with the girls when they were younger was Anne of Green Gables. Anne with an 'e'. What a character she was, sweet, lovely and almost always making mistakes, at the very least having misunderstandings.

At one point in the movie, Anne had a bad day and her teacher was explaining to her as they walked along the road "...tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."

How true that is, but how true also that we think our mistakes are still there at the beginning of each new day.

It takes work to start over, to put our mistakes behind us...to start new, to start something beautiful.

There is a song I have been listening to 'All we are we are' it starts with these words 'tasted tasted love so sweet'...they remind me of a song Devon learned from a youth leader at church here in Arnold,

'I've tasted of the cup of mercy, mercy sweet.

I've tasted of the cup of grace, grace so sweet.

and after all my days are done perfect love I'll see

when I stand with you Lord in glory.'

It speaks to the fact that God has mercy for us, even through the mistakes we make, or the bad days we have, through the accidents that happen, even in words that have been said, misunderstandings. His mercy, His grace..

With all our mistakes, accidents, words and misunderstandings...all we are we are. In this world we never will be perfect.

Devon's song goes on to say...'when I stand with you Lord, perfect I will be...'

...now that is something beautiful.

The El Camino

I've been on the hunt for songs that are about John, songs that remind me of him, of us.

When we were first married, John sold his little sports car and we bought an El Camino, it was silver with a white stripe, it suited us, half sports car half truck, I loved that car.

When I found this song The El Camino by Amos Lee and Willie Nelson, I thought this should be good, John loved Willie. But when I played it, I found it was not a song about that great car we used to drive. It is a song about a road.

There is a road in Europe that takes travelers on a pilgrimage to find themselves and God. A pilgrimage of faith, that has been travelled for more than a thousand years, by people who are on a journey to save their soul. The road ends at a church in Santiago Spain and it is believed that the disciple James is buried there. The road is called the El Camino.

This a song about travelling down that road...

well all my friends who treated me so well

you know I'm headed out to that Mission Bell

gonna wash my soul, gonna get it clean

heading down the border road called the El Camino...

I believe in all I've loved and all I've seen,

heading down the border road called the El Camino

yeah my hearts grown sick... my hearts gone blue

and I've done wrong by you, I don't know what to do

but I'm movin on, it really breaks my heart, leaving you behind...

all my ships have sailed away,

the price of this politic -

that there's plenty of time to pray and plenty of time to waste away.

well to all my friends that I've loved the most

you know I'm headed out to that other coast.

gonna wash my soul, gonna get it clean

heading down the border road called the El Camino.

...and it is a song about John.

Around the edges

Today was my birthday.

I know. It was a special day, a great day!

I enjoyed my family , hearing from friends and listening to my sweet grandchildren sing Happy Birthday to me. Life is good.

Yet, life is not all about me, there are more stories to tell, stories around the edges of mine.

Today there was the aftermath of a tornado that flew through and devastated a town close to where my daughter lives.

Today the rebels in Libya saw confirmation of the revolution they have been fighting, hoping for freedom for their people.

Today Jack Layton died of cancer, he was a man of character and drive, he accomplished much for the country he loved.

Today, life happened, stories that affect my family, my country and my world.

These stories do not affect me, they do not affect the way I enjoy my life but they are there, and I feel the hurt of the people who need to rebuild their homes, I feel the euphoria of the people on the brink of freedom and I feel the sadness of death and loss. My heart is affected and it makes me pay attention to their stories.

...the stories around the edges of mine.

Left or Right?

"The heart of the wise inclines to the right

but the heart of the fool to the left

even as he walks along the road." Ecclesiastes 10:2

I came across this scripture in my day, somehow, a week or so ago, there was no context, it was just there and it has sat in my mind.

What do you make of it?

Left or right? Why is left extended to the fool and the wise given to the right...how would you know? It doesn't seem fair and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.

I've been reading the Postmistress, a very thought provoking book, I'm not finished it yet but I came across this sentence...

"... every story - love or war - is a story about looking left when we should have been looking right."

Somehow, I think it's true, I think if you look back on some of your 'stories' you may in fact see that you should never have turned left, you should never have turned down that road or taken that 'left-handed' view. In my last 'story'

(in hindsight) I can see that the fool turned to the left...but thankfully she didn't make the complete turn, she kept looking right.

Left or right, your story - love or war - along your road, how have you walked it?

Regardless, left or right, coming or going, yearning to be wise or was the fool, keep this scripture in mind as you walk along your roads, you won't go wrong...

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

Perfect, just perfect

So...today, I really wanted to write about the Bacon brothers, specifically about what happened to one of them, but that seemed too controversial, one thought led to another and that made me think about what happened to Osama Bin laden which was way too controversial...which made me think of Winning Love and Erasing Hell and well, I didn't even want to go there!

So, I'm going to write about my Granny who is in heaven and was never controversial but always sweet.

I just opened a box that I had stashed away and found some of her things in it...pictures, letters, her hats and hair things...

When anyone went to visit my granny, they would ask how she was and often times she would say "as good as can be expected", but just as often she might say "perfect, just perfect."

I loved to visit with her and hear her stories from the days she was a working girl, earning money for herself and her family at home. Of how she met and married her first husband Isaac, that they travelled in a covered wagon from job to job. And later her relationship with my Grampa, whom she denied a marriage proposal and then later accepted. I heard the stories of her and her sister as girls, the love they shared, the games they played and the family they loved and lost. And she told me about her faith. She said, "If my children and grandchildren receive as much strength from the Lord as I did, they would be blessed."

It was my privilege to pick Granny up and bring her shopping or to family gatherings. Sometimes it was hard but mostly it was an honor. She couldn't hear well or keep track of everyone but she loved the action, the laughter and seeing the fun. The last time that I brought her, I watched her struggle with her shoes and I asked her if she was sure she wanted to come. She looked up into my eyes and said, "It's not for the food that I come, I just want to be where my people are." She loved her people.

The last honor I did for her was to braid her hair. She kept it long and when it was loose it hung to her waist. I gently brushed out the tangles and began the braid, carefully, hand over hand taking each soft strand until I reached the ends...ends that were tapered into the finest thread. I dipped it into water to hold the braid and brought it over her shoulder to rest in front...I have never seen her look more beautiful...

She was perfect, just perfect.

I Can Sing

I am not a good singer. I can't carry a tune. I don't know why. I've talked to God about it...a lot.

My music teacher in elementary school said "who's voice is that?"

My Mother said "Are you singing?"

and John would say "I heard you."

These were not meant to be encouraging comments, but I learned to laugh about it, I accept it. And right now there are times when I just don't care what anyone thinks or says, I just do it...but not in public.

One thing I am determined to do, is to have my grandchildren hear me sing. I want to share that with them, songs from my childhood, from their parents sunday school days. I don't know many and I don't always know all the words, but I choose to do it anyway. I have discovered they love it. That's a nice surprise. They say, sing this one, sing that other one and sing it again!

The other morning in church I was holding Presley through out the worship time. As each song melted into the next, I could feel her relaxing and pressing her little body to mine, putting her ear to my mouth listening to my voice...then she lifted her little face to mine and kissed me right on the lips.

Ahhh...love...everything is perfect in love.

I can sing.

What if...

On Sunday Rob talked about a song by Laura Story called "Blessings".

I know this song.

It is a beautiful song. It is a personal, emotional, conversation with God, a conversation telling Him about our needs, through sleepless nights. Through tears, our desperate pleas...our prayers.

"We pray for healing, for prosperity. We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering"

Desperate pleas, sleepless nights, tears and suffering...blessings?

We want His blessings, we want His healing, for ourselves, for our loved ones, especially our loved ones.

The thing we need to realize, even in the midst of our suffering, is that our desire may not be His. The mercies we cry out for are, often times, not the mercies we get...but, what if they are? Look again and you will see...

"What if the trials in this life are Your mercies in disguise?"

The beautiful truth that this song sings is something I have learned...God Himself has sung it to my heart...life on this earth is not His desire. His desire is our life with Him.

"The pain reminds us that this is not, this is not our home."

Look again...what if His mercies are in disguise.

Nothing but Fear

When I had a new idea or a plan to do something, John would sometimes say to me "there's nothing but fear stopping you."

When he ran away from home, he lived in his car before heading up North to build bridges. Even though he wasn't much more than a boy, the men there gave him a home in their camps and a job. He worked from great heights, dangling in a bucket over rushing rivers and rocky ravines. Sounds like a brave thing to do, but all the years that I knew him, and we were married for 36 years, he was afraid of heights.

Fear is a state of mind, it's not true, why do we give it so much credence?

Ghandi said "There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid."

If I refused to be afraid, what would happen?

I would realize that when I went through the 'deep waters' I did not drown.

I would learn that when I go through the 'fires' I will not be consumed.

I would know that when I go through the dark valleys, I will rise above them.

I would discover that when I am in the 'storms' of life I will get washed...

...to be washed by heavens rain, of what shall I be afraid?

I will not be afraid for You have ransomed me, You have called me by name. I am yours and You said to me "you are precious to me, you are honored and I love you...so do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10, 43:4

John was right, there is nothing to fear.

Waiting on God

It seems like we are always waiting for something. We wait for traditional things like celebrations, birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries, holidays, traditions with family and friends. We wait in lines, in stores, in offices, in waiting rooms for our Doctor, our lawyer, on highways for green lights, left turns, buses and pedestrians. We are always waiting for good news, good times, bed times (if you have toddlers) and waiting for growing up, for responsibility, for love, for change, for justice...waiting for when we will realize our rights, when we will have more money...waiting for when we will feel better.

Right now I'm waiting for God. I am waiting for God to let me know what is next. What is next?

I just finished reading a book called The Alchemist, an amazing little book that speaks to finding our 'personal legend' how God leads us through His language of 'omens'. It is an exotic but simple story, it reminds us to keep watch around us to see where God is and what He is telling us through His language.

I felt a comfort after reading this book, waiting is a part of life, as much as looking for God's 'omens'. Waiting is part of God's language too.

Really, what we need to think about is what we will do while we are waiting. Doing something while waiting... that is hard. Most often we find ourselves so intent on the waiting that nothing else gets done. Then, when the thing that we are waiting for happens, we find it's not the thing we wanted at all...but then, maybe it will be.

Right now I am in the 'waiting room' waiting on God, trying hard to see His 'omens' and waiting for what is next. In the mean time I am loving, crying, working, watching, loving, waiting...

Waiting on God.

Strong Enough

Matthew West sings a song called 'Stong Enough'

"You must. You must think I'm strong, to give me what I'm going through..."

My friend received a heavy blow yesterday and my heart is heavy knowing what his heart is carrying. I am praying that he will be strong enough.

Love is hard.

It's not the first time he has had to bear this weight, and those days were hard. I took some words from him during those days and used them when I had to carry the same heavy, heavy weight. Those words gave me strength and now I give them back to him...

"Grief is an expression of love,

for if you love someone you will always grieve their absence

and for that reason,

grief is never a burden,

nor does it end

but it becomes a part of your life's rhythm...

as regular as breathing, eating, sleeping and loving."

Love is hard.

"Hands of mercy won't you cover me...Lord right now I'm asking You to be strong enough.

Strong Enough."

Andrew...my heart to yours.

Remembering

This morning in church Rob asked a question, "What has God done for you that you are thankful for?"

My husband was raised in a good christian home, but life there wasn't always good. He ran away from home when he was 16 and I am pretty sure he stopped going to church before that. When he was 14 his parents gave him a bible, he brought it with him through out his travels, packed in a box with other things that he never looked at.

Yet, it was because of his prompting that I started going to church. It was because of his encouragement that our children and I have been faithful to an awesome God...

God promised me that John would come back to the faith of his youth and for over 30 years I held on to that promise.

When he got sick it was an honor for my children and for me to witness the grace of God in his life, to see the peace and strength that God gave him, he took it and held on to it, he did not let go and neither did we.

After God took John home, I found myself paging through his bible. I found it unmarked except for one place, near the very end, 1 Peter 1:3 , underlined in the scrawling hand of a boy...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed...for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your soul."

...the received promise held on to by a 14 year old boy.

I will never stop thanking God for remembering His promises.

Remind me

A song came on the radio and as I took it in, it was clear that it was a love song. It was a duet with Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood, powerful singers who can sing the words with meaning! "Remind Me", it is a song about two people who have become comfortable in their life who want to be reminded of their passion. But what stands out to me are the words 'remind me'.

Remind me.

They remind me of some boys I used to teach in sunday school, they were a challenge! I had to come up with interesting ways to teach them, to say the least! The particular lesson I am remembering is about ebenezers. The story of when God had the Isrealites set up ebenezers by the river to remind them of how far God had brought them. The boys and I had collected stones and brought them inside to stack them up, one on top of the other, stuck with glue. They learned the idea of making markers to remind them of the times God had helped them.

God has filled His Holy book with reminders like this, reminders of His word, His promises... put them on your door, remember them when you get up, when you lie down, tie them around your neck, leave them by the river, stack them in the river...and remember.

Remind me.

This reminds me of The Beautiful Ache, a book written by Leigh Mcleroy, she writes,

"...and His Life-infusing presence makes my remembering a blessing not a curse. So I'll stack my memories like stones, the way the children of Isreal did as they crossed into the Jordon...some in the water covered over by the river never to be seen again and some on the brand new shore that waits for me. And I'll remember..."

Remind me.

...and I'll remember how far You've brought me.

Being Personal

I watched a favorite movie this past week, You've Got Mail. I love this movie, I'll watch it everytime it comes on TV. Among other things that I love about it, there is a quote in it that stands out to me, I wait for it.

"...and what's so wrong with being personal anyway? Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal."

I agree, how can anything have any real meaning if we are not personal, we ought to begin this way.

I've been reading through the Old Testament (the Message) and I've just started Chronicles. In his intro to this book Eugene Peterson writes,

"Names launch this story, hundreds and hundreds of names, lists of names, page after page of names. There is no true story telling without names...holy history is not constructed from impersonal forces or abstract ideas, it is woven with names...personal names that add up to a people of God, a holy congregation."

I have taken on a whole new consideration of reading these names, these were real people and they are a personal part of the story, they are true. God knew them.

On Sunday morning Rob talked about God knowing us, before we were knit together in our mothers womb, before our thoughts become words, no matter where we are, even in the dark. He knows us.

Rob used an example of David's conversation with God in Psalm 139 and we see how David knows God and talks to Him in a real way, Rob says "...his words are harsh, they are personal."

I love that. Knowing God, it ought to begin by being personal.